


Moving Away

by NeonDomino



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A rewrite of a 2014 fic of mine, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, F/M, Falling In Love, Gaslighting, Getting out of a bad relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, With the amount of rewriting I did I should have just started this as a new fic, muggle!AU, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27410389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: It's not uncommon for a relationship to spiral downwards. What starts off good can turn sour to the point where the one getting hurt doesn't know how they've reached that place.Sirius is in such a relationship, and it takes a visit to James for him to see the contrast in the healthy relationships around him and the one he's in himself. Whilst seeing his old friend, he meets someone who isn't shy to tell him that he matters. Remus Lupin can offer him what he can't find in his current relationship. Happiness.The warnings relate to Sirius/OC, but the story will be Sirius/Remus. M for listed tags. Rewrite of my 2014 fic on another site (which was 8 chapters, but this is 1)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	Moving Away

**Author's Note:**

> Bear in mind I originally wrote this back in 2014. I'm reading through it now and dislike so much about it, but don't like deleting my stories. So I'm rewriting it on here. If you've read the old version, it might be worth reading this one too. It's had a massive change and the abusive relationship is outlined in clearer way, with appropriate tags.
> 
> Please consider that gaslighting isn't always as obvious in real life as I've written it. It can come on so slow that the person doesn't even realise the changes happening. Someone can appear to be so nice and kind and caring. Just a well placed comment here and there. Controlling behaviour can start off the same way.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Sirius asks, glancing at the road ahead, searching for a sign as they drive towards London.

"Not even close." The reply is followed by a long, drawn-out sigh. Most people would think that it's because the other man is weary, but Sirius knows better. It's because the other man hates these sort of questions. He'd rather sit in silence for the entire journey. 

Sirius hates silence. He likes there to be noise, to be chatting, but Ben isn't the same and Sirius tries his hardest to accommodate the other man, even though Ben never tries to reciprocate. "Come on, Ben," he murmurs. "Can't you drive faster? Just a little bit? The quicker you drive, the quicker we get there and get out of this car." He tries to lower his tone slightly, hoping that if Ben thinks they'll fool around when arriving, he might speed up.

"Alight, keep your hair on," Ben mutters, his tone a little too harsh. "If you didn't take so long to get your stuff together, we'd have left an hour ago. I should have just left you to come on your own to this thing."

Sirius takes a slow breath. In. Out. Getting annoyed will just make things worse and he doesn't want that. Not in the slightest. He didn't delay them for a whole hour, but he's not going to point that out. "I can just get the train back instead if this is a problem."

Ben doesn't answer and Sirius bites his lip. Does that mean Ben is agreeing or not? He glances at the driver's seat to where Ben is glaring out at the road ahead. He knows that look. He's not going to ask more questions. He gives up. He's tried so hard to set a nice mood. He's tried being quiet, but he feels lost again, because clearly everything he's doing isn't good enough. Nothing ever is.

He pulls out his iPod and puts the headphones in, careful to have the music at a low volume because God-forbid that Ben hear it through the headphones. It'd be nice to play music in the car, but Ben has been vocal about how he doesn't want to listen to Sirius' shit music.

Sometimes Sirius wonders why he's still with Ben, but reminds himself that he's lucky to have him. No-one else would want Sirius. Something Ben likes to remind him often.

* * *

James watches the car pull up and is fuelled with excitement and dread. He's been looking forward to seeing his best friend for so long, but he secretly hoped Ben wouldn't come. But Sirius texted before leaving to confirm that Ben hadn't cancelled again.

A lot of James' planning had relied on Ben not being there, but James can work around that. That's what back-up plans are for. Okay. So he doesn't really have a plan per-se, but he had a lot of ideas that pretty much equal a plan.

"Ben came," he mutters.

"Maybe you don't try and push Remus at Sirius," Lily starts carefully.

"No," James says, alert again. He turns his attention back to her. "Sirius is the most amazing person, Lily. You'll love him, Remus will love him too and... he doesn't realise his own worth so he lets Ben treat him like crap." Lily puts a hand on his arm. She's heard so many rants about Ben and knows all about his cruel behaviour. "Even if we don't set him and Remus up this weekend, we can at least introduce them to each other and lay that groundwork. Remember the main goal is to convince him to move back. Let's focus on that."

Lily nods. The first time they talked about this, she said that he doesn't have to protect his friend who is a grown man, but now she knows better. She's met with James' parents and she's heard the way they talk about Sirius. From overheard conversations and those happening around her, she's learnt enough to know what Sirius' upbringing was like. She's also learnt that James is very protective. He protects the people he cares about, and Sirius needs that protection. She's going to help any way she can.

"As long as Remus doesn't get hurt," Lily says carefully. "But groundwork is good, and then when we convince Sirius to move down... maybe set them up on a date or something. When Sirius is single."

James snorts. "Lily, he is single. Ben makes it very clear that they're no more than friends, though he expects Sirius to... to act like they're in a relationship of sorts, whilst he fucks other people. We don't have proof, but Sirius is certain it's happened. He's spent years hurting Sirius and there's been no way to get him away from Ben until now. Uni is pretty-much done and if I don't get him back here now, he'll live up there and this won't ever stop. If he stays up there... I may have to move up there to look after him for a while. Sirius used to be this mouthy little shit, always getting detention just so he didn't have to go home because he was terrified. He thought the world hated him and that he didn't deserve happiness or kindness. He feels like that again and I'm going to fix that no matter what it takes."

"If you ever need to follow him back there... I understand," she says. "We'll find a way to make it work, but if your friend needs you... I won't make that be a difficult choice for you."

"I'll talk to him about living down here when he's alone. Let him get excited about it before Ben even finds out."

Lily nods. She's seen James pacing the room as he calms Sirius down or reassures his friend, or even has a chat with Peter - Sirius' other friend in Scotland as they try and think of ways to help Sirius. She's heard the conversations and given her own input. Peter's pretty much confirmed that Ben cheats on Sirius, confirms the behaviour to a point where they all know that Sirius downplays it, as though he doesn't want to admit how bad it is. Or he wants to pretend all is fine. James has been up there, he's seen it first hand.

* * *

Ben takes their bags out of the boot, tossing Sirius' to the ground, before lifting his own out. Sirius' smile flickers, but he's seeing James for the first time in months and nothing will take away that happiness. He grabs his case and wheels it over to James, throwing his arms around his friend.

"James, I haven't seen you in months!"

"That's on you, bloody going to uni so far away," James replies, laughing softly as he hugs him back.

"Yeah, but it's pretty much over now. I'll be moving soon, I just don't know where yet. Just looking for a place."

James glances at Ben who is leaning against the car, making no move to approach. He's glad - the dislike is mutual, because James has had strong words with Ben before. He just doesn't get why Ben would even come for this weekend.

"You're in luck, mate. Mum has us both sorted. A friend of her friend has a new build of flats. Mum got us two at a good rate. She paid a year upfront for them and we pay her back. Thing is, Lily has a flat lined up too and I'm going to go move in with her, so Remus - my roommate - is going to grab the other flat. So you'll have a great neighbour and I'll live a ten or fifteen minute bike-ride away. We'll be over all the time."

Sirius stares at him. "Mum got me a place?" he asks, his voice little more than a whisper. "You guys must really want me back."

"We've been counting down the day you leave uni," James insists. "Mum has it circled on the calendar you gave her for Christmas last year. I can't wait to have you back! The place is unfurnished. Mum was going to sort that, but I know how much you love going to Ikea, laying on all the beds and demanding meatballs. The kitchens have all the big stuff, so get a bed and you'll be able to survive."

Sirius laughs. "Yeah, that's the plan now," he says. "Mum loves going ikea with me!"

"She loves how excited you get," James replies. This was all easier than expected. "Let's call her now and tell her the good news!" Underhanded, he knows, but if Sirius tells Dorea he's moving, that's it. Sirius won't go back on his word to James' mum. He quickly dials the number and hands the phone over.

"Mum," he says excitedly. "Just heard about the flat - sorry I'm not seeing you this weekend, but I'll be back living in London and I can come to the Sunday dinners again... if... if I'm still..."

James can hear his mother through the ear-piece.

"Don't you ever for one moment think that you're not welcome here for the family dinner," she scolds. "You're my family, sweetheart, and you are always welcome, no matter what."

He beams, looking so happy. "I have to go now - we just arrived and have to check in, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm all for it! I'll call you soon. Love you."

He smiles as she replies, before hanging up the call and handing the phone back. He turns to Lily. "Finally, it's taken two and a half years for us to meet."

"I know. All those phone calls we've had," Lily says, accepting the hug and kiss on the cheek. "But you go and check in, we have a whole weekend to get to know each other, and then when you move down..."

He grins, before turning to Ben and nodding that he's done. "I'm looking forward to meeting this Remus bloke too. James is always talking about him, and I'm going to be living next door to him. Plans?"

"Right. Dinner in two hours," James says. "We're pretty much ready, just going to relax and watch a film. We rented out the garden for the weekend so we can have a bit of a party, it's going to be great."

* * *

"Sirius Black, I booked a room for the weekend," he says to the woman on the counter.

"It's part of the James Potter block of books," James offers on his way past. Him and Lily move to stand by the lifts, though the reception is small, quiet, and empty apart from the five people so James and Lily can hear everything.

"Double room," the woman murmurs, tapping the keys. "Yes. Room twelve." She looks between him and Ben. "Do you and your partner want one or two keys?"

"Oh, we're not together," Ben says, smiling at her. "Two keys please."

She frowns slightly. "Do you want me to move you to a twin room?" she asks.

"It's fine, everything is fine," Sirius insists quickly.

"Okay. That's you both booked through until Sunday." She smiles as the card is charged, and he takes his key. Ben takes his own, frowning at Sirius as they step away from the counter.

"When we talked about this, we agreed to come up for just tonight," Ben mutters.

"We... did?"

Ben nods. "Too late now, you've already paid for the room. Let's just stay for the whole weekend - it's only fair to me, doing all the driving. Plus, you don't want to let your friends down... again." The last line is so quiet that no-one else can hear it.

Sirius stares at him for a long moment. Has he let his friends down recently? He tries to recall anything in what James has said but can't think of anything. Well, except for James mentioning they don't see each other often because Sirius went to uni far away. There hadn't been anything off in James' tone, but now Sirius thinks about it, James could easily be upset at that. Just another failing.

"Thanks," he murmurs, glad that Ben has agreed to stay the entire time. He doesn't remember the conversation, but that could be due to exam stress. Thankfully he has Ben to remind him these things. He didn't want to argue with Ben about staying the whole weekend.

They get in the lift with James and Lily. James presses the button and the door closes and there's silence. James' mouth is set into a thin line and Lily is frowning.

"You know, I'm most looking forward to hearing about your stories from school," Lily says, wanting to break the silence. "Did you really flood the school?"

Sirius snorts. "That was a vicious rumour started by someone looking to tarnish my perfect reputation," Sirius replies, haughtily. "Like the heir of the house of Black would ever stoop so low as to participate in such delinquent activities with James Potter." There's a smirk playing at his lips though and Lily can see how he got away with so much stuff.

Ben sighs and rolls his eyes. "You could have just said no. You always have to be a drama queen," he comments. "The things I put up with."

Sirius' smile falls and his shoulders slump and Lily and James both see him droop in on himself.

The list stops and they walk out. "It's been a long journey. I'm sure you both understand that we want to take a short rest rather than standing and talking for ages. Come _along_ Sirius." He starts up the hall towards room seven and Sirius gives the pair an apologetic look before following.

He'll make it up to Ben in their room in a minute. Ben is always in a better mood after sex and sometimes they cuddle up afterwards and Sirius needs that. He needs to feel arms around him. He reminds himself not to always answer in the way Ben doesn't like. He doesn't need to be dramatic. He needs to act properly if he wants to be in an adult relationship - if he acts properly and starts doing things right, maybe Ben will finally be happy and acknowledge that this is something real. He's stuck somewhere in the middle of _friends with benefits_ and _dating_. The most Ben has come to admitting it is mentioning once that they are _seeing each other_ which in Sirius' eyes is the same as dating.

But deep down he knows it's not.

* * *

He wants to wear his jeans that are so ripped, they look like they're going to fall apart, and his band t-shirt and leather jacket. Ben's expression says it all. Sirius gives the wrong impression to people, as Ben likes to point out. He needs to _do better_. So Sirius, after he showers, puts on the clothes Ben chose for him. The jeans aren't as ripped. The white shirt and pale-blue cardigan over it. He hates these clothes, not his style at all. But if Ben's happy, Sirius' life is a little bit easier.

Sirius doesn't like to think about how Ben's happiness comes at the expense of his own. There is no compromise, but maybe once they're actually dating, Ben will try and make him happy too. But for now... Sirius just gives in. Ben's already pissed off enough to have turned down sex, and Sirius knows he's in a really bad mood. There's no cuddling, no watching a film together. Just Sirius playing shitty games on his phone till it's time to leave. The head downstairs in silence.

"Lucas! I haven't seen you in months!" Ben hugs one of the men at the table. "I had to come when you said you'd be here." Ben slips into the seat next to the man and starts talking, so Sirius quietly slips into the other seat, smiling nervously at the dark-haired woman sitting there. He smiles at James who is sitting across from him.

"So, now we're all here, let's raise a glass. There are a few things to celebrate this weekend. Mine and Lily's official two-year anniversary has just passed, though finding time during exams to properly celebrate was problematic, our last get-together as a group... for a while at least, and most importantly - sorry Lilykins - the love of my life is back in town. Better yet - he's going to be moving down - my mum has a flat lined up for him."

Sirius laughs as he lifts his glass.

"To James and Sirius," Lily teases, holding up a glass.

James laughs softly. "I second that." He lifts his own and Sirius grins. He's missed this.

"Wait. You're moving down here?" Ben asks, turning to face him. Sirius' smile falls. 

"Well, yeah. James is my best friend, and I wasn't going to remain in Scotland forever. Our mum sorted me out a place."

"I thought we were considering getting a place," Ben argues. "We were going to talk about it, and then you go and do this behind my back."

"I don't... we never spoke about it," Sirius says. Everyone is looking at them and he doesn't like this. "I even mentioned yesterday that I was scared I'd have to move back in with my parents if I can't find a place soon, and you didn't say anything. I said I was going to talk to James about what to do."

"What do you mean? I said we'd talk about it after this trip," Ben snaps.

Sirius hesitates, frowning. Did he?

"The flat is paid for, mum has been called and his tenancy is only for one person. But as you're just his 'friend', he doesn't really need to run his plans by you nor does he need to ask your permission. You're a big boy, I'm sure you can find a place nearby if you're so intent of staying near him. But we all live nearby too. I'll be visiting him daily."

The pair stare at each other, and as Sirius looks around, he can see the shock on other people's faces. James is the life of the party, friends with everyone and fiercely protective. They've seen him stand up for others before, but he's never been this furious. Finally Ben looks away, his head turning towards Sirius, but Sirius doesn't look. His gaze stayed locked on James. He gains confidence from his best friend.

"So as I was saying, to a wonderful friendship that though we go our separate ways for a while, will always remain amazing because we'll all stay in contact, to me and Lily and of course, to Sirius who you'll all get to know a lot better."

Everyone echoes various parts of the toast as they lift their glasses. Ben's glass doesn't raise, and he turns back to talk to Lucas.

"I can't wait," Mary says. "All James talks about is you. All the stories about you guys at school. I'd have loved to have gone to school with you both, it must have been so entertaining."

"Yeah school was great," Sirius says. He quickly realises his own tone and maybe he's sounding a little rude. "But don't let James give the impression that I was worse than him. He was quite the little shit too."

* * *

He ends up calling Peter and handing the phone over so he can talk to Mary. Peter is quite shy, and Mary is sweet and she's asked about his single friends. Peter is single and because of his shyness, he won't really talk to women. But Mary chats away on Sirius' phone and it's perfect. She'll talk until Peter feels comfortable.

"Trust you to flirt with everyone."

"I wasn't flirting, I was chatting," Sirius murmurs.

Ben leans closer. "It's hard to trust you," he says quietly. "It's why I'm scared to get into something real with you."

That causes its own panic. Sirius has clearly screwed up and failed again. It's his own fault that Ben doesn't want more because Sirius is useless. Harsh, cruel words are whispered into his ear. He feels like he can't breathe. He looks towards James, silently begging James to look and intervene because James is stronger than him. But James doesn't sense his distress as he laughs with Lily as they murmur to each other.

But a movement to the side of James catches his eye and his gaze moves and Sirius is stunned. How did he not see this man before? Dark blond hair falling messily into brilliant amber eyes, and the words seem to fade a little.

The man looks up, as though he can feel eyes on him, and the amber eyes meet his and the smile he gets makes him feel butterflies. It's short lived, because Ben is louder now, clearly annoyed that the murmurs and whispers aren't working.

"Are you done checking out other men yet?" Everyone turns to look and it's Sirius' limit. He can't do this anymore, he needs to get away from everyone. He pushes his chair back, the scraping loud in the silence.

"I need a fag," he mutters. "Fuck this."

* * *

The door opens a minute later and Sirius hopes it's Ben, coming to fix things. But it's not. Lily heads over.

"Got a light?" she asks. "And a spare cigarette?"

Sirius nods, offering both and Lily accepts and lights up.

"You smoke?"

"Not much. Socially. I miss a lot at work when people go out for a cigarette. It sucks standing out here alone though." She pauses. "I think James is going to kill Ben. Wanna talk about what happened?"

"My fault. He was annoyed, though I was flirting with Mary and thought I was checking out that gorgeous guy. I mean, I noticed he was gorgeous, so Ben was right." Sirius brings his cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag of it. "James has been pissed at me for moving, hasn't he?"

Lily turns her head to stare at him, but Sirius forces himself not to look.

"What makes you think... did... did Ben say that?" Lily asks.

"It's true though, I did all this to myself through my choices."

Lily is silent for a moment. "I've heard so much about you from James. I know from what I've heard that you're amazing, you're special. But if he's not telling you these things - if he's trying to make you believe that the people that love you are mad at you, that... to make you feel like you're doing something wrong when you're not. So what if you happen to notice someone else is handsome? You're allowed to notice these things - and Ben is the one trying to act like you're not in a relationship. He can't have things both ways."

"What do I do?" Sirius asks quietly.

"I don't think it's my place to tell you," she answers softly. "But were I in a relationship like that, I'd be looking to get out of it. He wants you to feel like you don't matter, so that you allow him to treat you this way. He's taking delight in controlling you."

"He... he said I... I mean, I don't remember the conversation happening, but I was sure I said this was for the weekend and Ben thought it was for one night. But... but then he conceded and said we'd stay for the weekend."

Lily sighs. "Sirius, you both brought cases rather than bags. He packed enough for a weekend. This is him trying to mess with your mind." She puts the cigarette to her lips. "James is thinking of coming to Scotland."

"What? Why?"

"Because he's worried about you. He wants to keep you safe. You know what James is like." Lily smiles softly. "Maybe it's a good idea - he can come back with you and help you sort out things up there so you can come back and live down here?"

"He'd do that for me?" Sirius asks, sounding hopeful. Confident. He feels like he matters again. He feels like he can breathe. Someone cares.

"He really would. Without even having to think about it. You do matter, Sirius. If Ben tells you otherwise, it's because he knows that bringing you down is the only way to hold onto you because otherwise you'd realise what a bad person he is."

Sirius drops the cigarette. "Can I... sit with you guys?"

"Of course. We had the seats by us saved, but they were taken and James didn't want to be rude. We'll get people to shift around a seat."

They head back inside and James moves around the table, a questioning look on his face.

"Mate, come sit over here," he says. "Everyone can shift down a seat, right?"

Sirius walks around the table, ignoring the look he knows Ben is giving him. Thankfully he's not facing Ben. But he can't bring himself to really get into the conversation, still worried about Ben, and thinking on what Lily had said. 

James had explained years ago that Sirius' parents used to question him so much that he doubted the things he said and doubted his own mind and memory. Was Ben doing the same?

* * *

Sirius chats with Mary again after dinner whilst Ben pointedly ignores him. They talk about Peter once more, before Marlene comes over and gets them both over to dance.

"Not to this," Sirius admits, a little shyly, but Marlene waves behind him and twists her finger in a circle. Sirus follows her gaze and spots the handsome guy from the dinner table by the stereo. He gives Marlene a nod, before looking at Sirius with a widening smile.

Something a little more cheesy comes on and Sirius can't resist as they pull at his arm again. He joins the two girls, almost bumping into Alice and Frank as they get up to dance too.

As he moves on the dance floor, he feels a little more at ease. He doesn't need to think of conversation as he does so. He can clear his mind and laugh and enjoy himself. In the moments that don't involve Ben, he finds he's having an amazing time. It would have been better if Ben didn't come because Sirius wouldn't have felt like crap for most of the day. There would have been no scene at dinner. If he was here alone, maybe he could have met someone? Flirted a bit - because Ben has made it clear over and over that they're over and Sirius is tired of fighting for it to be something. Sirius wants something real, and all he has is someone who makes it very clear that Sirius is a failure.

He excuses himself, gets a drink and sits down at an empty table. James is laughing with Alice and he wants to go over, but doesn't want to intrude.

"Hey," a voice comes. Sirius jumps. There's a scrape of a chair and he turns his head just in time to see the amber-eyed man from dinner sitting down next to him. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You're Sirius, right?"

"Yeah I am. And you?"

"Remus Lupin," the guy replies and Sirius' smile widens at the name. So _this_ is Remus Lupin - the person James has been going on about for three years. "James has told me a lot about you, but never mentioned how..." he trails off. Even though he's technically single, that's a bit of a grey area and he doesn't want to flirt with someone else. He can't do that to Ben.

"All good things I hope," Remus replies, not drawing attention to Sirius cutting his sentence off so quickly. "And I've heard about you."

"I'm sure you have. James is a little obsessed with me," Sirius jokes.

Remus laughs, a beautiful sound. "I've come over to see if you have any music requests. I must admit, I'm eager to see you back on that dance-floor. I'm in charge of the music, so..."

Sirius glances around, his gaze finding Ben. Ben is standing way too close to Lucas, and Sirius sighs. He reminds himself not to jump to conclusions. They're not together, it's not his business. They're just talking. Ben wouldn't cheat on him, right? All the times in the past were just misunderstandings. Of course.

"I'll give you my ipod if you want," Sirius says. "But... but only if you get up and dance with me?"

Remus raises his eyebrows. "I'll have you know that I only dance when the time-warp plays. I have great moves."

"I bet." Sirius' evening has just gotten better. "I'll give you my ipod but only if you time-warp first."

"I'll time-warp later when we've had a few more drinks," Remus insists. "But only if you do it."

"Try and stop me." Sirius pulls his ipod out and hands it over and their fingers brush as Remus takes it.

Remus' cheeks redden at the contact. He glances around, his gaze falling on Ben, but Sirius doesn't look over. But Remus' frown says enough.

"They're still at it, huh?"

Remus nods slightly. "I'll be right back." He strides over to the stereo and seconds later, Guns N Roses is blaring from the speakers. Remus comes back over and pulls Sirius up to dance. This time, Sirius is much more willing to do so.

* * *

"I heard that you two aren't together, but... complicated?" Remus asks, as they head to the bar together to get some drinks.

Sirius snorts. "We're not. Ben wants to act like it's a relationship when it suits, and I've been stupidly going along with it in hopes that one day it will be. But... my eyes are starting to open to what's been happening in this relationship. It's been two years, But I feel like I'm just clinging onto the only person who I've... I mean, I'm lucky that he even..." Sirius sighs. "I don't really know where to go from here," he admits.

He's not usually open about talking about his life, but he's lonely and wants to talk to someone and Remus has kind eyes - and James trusts Remus, and Sirius trusts James.

Remus' smile is soft, but there's an assessing look in his eyes. The drinks are passed over by the barman and Remus takes them both, handing Sirius one. He brings it to his lips and sips it.

"Sometimes we care about someone so much, we let the bad things slide because we're so focused on trying to be happy," he says. "You, Sirius - you deserve happiness. But we're going to be living next door to each other, and through James, I feel like I already know you well. I'd really like to be friends, and you can talk to me - confide in me if you feel comfortable. I've been told I have that sort of face and vibe."

"I really like your face," Sirius admits. "I met Peter on the way up there. Me and James went to visit the place on the train and Peter was on the same one, so we hung out together. We swapped numbers for when we started and Ben was his roommate. Peter is my roommate now. Had a falling out with Ben, so... I mean, we were all good for the first year. But me and Ben started... this, and when he was nasty, Peter would stand up for me and... I guess I just screwed everything up. This is my first... anything, I suppose. Of course I was bound to make a ton of mistakes. Ben was always happy to explain what I did wrong and how I could be better." The last words fall from his lips in a bitter tone.

"No one is perfect," Remus tells him. "Maybe you had things to learn about relationships, but the way it sounds..." he trails off, his gaze behind Sirius for a moment. Sirius waits for him to finish the sentence, a little caught up in the Welsh lilt of Remus' accent.

"Hey mate, can you put something else on?" Ben asks, glaring between them. "I think we've had enough of this crap."

"Sorry no," Remus replies, a polite smile on his lips.

Ben just stares at him, a little surprised at the refusal. But when it's clear Remus isn't going to step down, Ben folds his arms. "Why not?"

"My stereo, so I pick the music and Sirius is the guest of honour. I'm really sorry if you don't like the music, but I've got to bear everyone in mind when playing stuff and I know a lot of the group like the classics like Guns N Roses." He glances around to where people are singing along to the lyrics. "If you're still unhappy, go speak to James. I'm sure he'll be very accommodating. I'll switch it up in a little while."

"Sirius, let's go. Come upstairs to our room, and..." he trails off, allowing Sirius to work out the rest of the sentence.

Sirius hesitates. Maybe it'd be easier to head up? Ben might be in a better mood if he does.

Remus can see the conflict. "Or you can stay down here and we can enjoy this music. James is making the rounds and he'll be over to join us once he's had a chat with everyone else."

"After everyone," Ben mutters pointedly.

Sirius sighs and sets down his drink. Ben is right. There's a reason he's going to be left until last, but Remus reaches a hand out, resting it on Sirius' wrist.

"Because once he's talked to everyone else, he can come over and chat with you without having to rush off to entertain other people. That means you get the most time with him," Remus says. "James is delighted that you're here. You should have heard how happy he was when he got off the phone after you agreed to come. Trust me."

Sirius nods. That sounds more like James and suddenly he realises how Ben's words somehow just make him assume the worst without him even considering an alternative. Like he's programmed to think the worst about people and situations. It never used to be this bad. He used to consider things from all angles - he used to overthink things, but now he lets Ben tell him how things are.

Remus' gaze shifts to Ben. "Don't try and twist their friendship, because you will lose on that front," he says calmly.

"I'm going to stay here for a while and talk to Remus," Sirius says. Remus' hand is still on his wrist and he focuses on how nice it feels there.

He ignores when Ben walks away. If he caused Ben to storm off in the past, he'd rush after him, eager to fix things. But his head is hurting because he's torn between chasing Ben, knowing that it's not going to be good, or staying here with someone who only has kind words and who makes him see how not everything is bad.

He rarely hears kind words - only from Dorea and Charlus when he calls, and from James. Peter says a few nice things here and there too, but Ben often snorts when Peter says something.

But everyone here has been so nice, so kind and welcoming and friendly and that horrible feeling deep inside - the feeling that he can't do anything right... well, that's lessened ever so slightly. Because if he was such a failure, James wouldn't care so much and all they've been telling him is how much James has missed him.

Ben kept saying that James didn't visit much because he didn't care. But James cares. Sirius is certain, and now he's seeing it with his own eyes. But he doesn't want to believe that Ben is purposely making him feel like this. His gaze darts behind Remus where James is chatting to someone, but constantly glancing his way as though worried. It makes him feel better.

"Not a fan of cardigans?" Remus asks, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"You look really uncomfortable. You keep pulling on it."

"Yeah. Ben got me it." He can't help but grimace. At the same time, he's aware and appreciative that Remus is changing the subject.

"And when you pick your own clothes?" Remus asks. "I bet you have great style." He reaches up, his fingers opening the buttons. "Here, take it off. We'll chuck it and you can tell him it got lost by accident."

"I am rather attached to my leather jacket," Sirius admits, perking up slightly. Yes. He's always liked his style. "Band t-shirts too."

Remus' gaze drifts over Sirius for a moment. "I love cardigans," he says. "It's why I wear them often. I like the feel of the material on my skin and I feel like myself. But I'd never push someone else to wear them if they didn't feel comfortable. Plus... nothing sexier than a man in a leather jacket." His cheeks redden profusely but he keeps Sirius' gaze for a moment before his gaze darts down shyly.

It's that moment that Sirius realises that Remus is attracted to him. He's not seen someone look at him like that in a long time - or maybe he just hasn't noticed it, so caught up in Ben's words. It comes as a shock because his first thought is _'why?'_ Remus is beautiful and adorable and there was something sweet and kind about him.

"You... you think that's sexy?" Sirius asks, quietly.

"I think that you deserve better than someone who tries to change you from who you really are. If leather jackets and rock music and... a motorbike, because I'm _sure_ James mentioned the bike... several times... who is he to stop you? A relationship - whether the word has been used, or the relationship parameters defined or undefined, it's about give and take. He should be willing to listen to your music, as I'm sure you do for him. He should be letting you wear clothes that make you happy, because I'm sure you're not telling him what he can and can't wear. He doesn't have to like everything you like, but that doesn't mean he can demean it or treat you like that, or even act like his own taste in music trumps yours."

"How do you... tattoos," Sirius blurts out.

"Fuck," Remus murmurs. His face has reddened even more and his lip is between his teeth and Sirius just _can't_.

"Are you single?" Sirius asks.

"I am," Remus murmurs.

"I can't understand why."

Remus smiles, his gaze darting down once more and he pushes another strand of hair from his face. Sirius makes a mental note to corner James later and find out _everything_ about Remus Lupin.

"So... motorbike," Remus says. "Tell me about it. James said you left it down here?"

"I did. Ben... I mean... it just seemed like a better idea to leave it. Riding between Scotland and England... it just felt too much on the bike. But maybe when I move down here, I can take you for a ride?" As the words fall from his lips, he's surprised at this bout of confidence he's having. Though he can see that Remus might be attracted to him, he's still not sure if this is okay. The apology is on the tip of his tongue, but the words die as Remus answers.

"Yeah, I'd love for you to take me for a ride." There's a tremor to his voice and after the words fall from his lips, Remus looks shocked at himself, his cheeks reddening, and Sirius grins widely.

Sirius doesn't trust himself to speak for a moment. He looks Remus over instead, noticing the cardigan, the jumper underneath, the tight, ripped jeans and converse. Remus looks like he's the sort that carries a satchel to university. Suddenly he understands why Ben likes cardigans. Guys in cardigans are sexy.

"You wear these cardigans a lot?" Sirius murmurs.

"All of the time."

Sirius just nods. "Good to know," he adds softly. "I like it."

"Will... will Ben be moving with you?" Remus checks.

Sirius shakes his head, determined now. The three of them became friends originally because they all came from London and gravitated towards each other. He has no idea if Ben is coming back down here or not, and he feels that returning to London is his fresh start, which is what Scotland was supposed to be.

He can't have a fresh start with Ben. He's too aware of how he's clinging to the smallest bit of kindness, which is what he did as a child when Dorea would say something nice to him and he clung to those words because someone cared. He remembers the time someone started on James and insulted Dorea and Sirius saw red and ended up getting suspended from school. Because he has James' back, sure, but also because if anyone dare say a bad word about the woman who took him in and showed him what it was like to have a kind and loving mother...

He cares too deeply about people and he cares too deeply what people think of him to the point where he changes everything about himself to makes others happy. But James has never tried to change him like this - James has tried to help him in good ways, like talking to him and trying to calm him down when he gets angry at people. Or explaining better ways to handle things. He sneaks a look towards James again, who catches his eye and grins. Sirius can read that look on James' face even at this distance - it's the look James gives Sirius when they're in a bar and Sirius gets chatted up.

"Did James send you over?" he finds himself asking.

Remus nods. "He asked me to introduce myself and make sure all was well, but I think... I think he has ulterior motives. Just for the record, I was going to come over to talk to you anyway. I've wanted to meet you for so long."

Sirius needs caring people in his life, and he knows that James wouldn't leave him here talking to Remus if Remus wasn't a caring person. Sirius trusts James without question, and if James trusts someone, Sirius will give them a chance.

"I'll be moving down alone, and I... I'm going to end things with Ben. Not that we're in a relationship, but I'm going to clearly cut all ties with him. So I'll be single when I come." He watches Remus for a reaction. Maybe another blush.

Remus doesn't disappoint as he twists the cardigan cuff between his fingers nervously.

"I can... show you around. All the good places to eat, or to go to for fun or..."

Sirius laughs softly. "I grew up in London."

"Oh." Remus looks a little embarrassed and Sirius reaches out for his hand, already regretting saying that. If it were reversed, he'd feel a bit silly and he doesn't want Remus to feel anything like that. "But... but I'm sure you've found some great places I've never noticed. So maybe you can show me the places you enjoy, and I can show you the places I like?"

"That's a good idea. Maybe you should take my number. I mean, if you want. In case you want to text me when you're down?"

Sirius' smile widens. They're going to be living next door to each other - they could just knock, but this is Remus' shy way of asking for his number anyway and Sirius is fine with that. And now Remus doesn't seem so confident. Nervous, as though Sirius would ever even consider refusing the number. Sirius knows a lot about self-doubt. So he takes out his phone and hands it over. "I think I just found another reason to return to London."

"Good food?"

"What I know will be amazing company," Sirius replies. He's still holding Remus' hand. "Moving is hard work, so maybe me, you, James and Lily can get together for a take-away that evening, and then me and you can look to do something a few days after?"

"Yeah. And if you need help moving... I'll be right next door."

Someone comes over about the music and Remus gives Sirius an apologetic look. "I'll have to switch it, I suppose," he murmurs. "Give everyone a turn with the music. Is that okay? I can put yours back on in a bit."

"Yeah, that's fine," Sirius insists.

"I think James is coming over, so I'll let him steal you away for the rest of the evening. We've got the whole weekend after all." He steps closer and presses his lips to Sirius' jaw before turning.

"You call that a kiss?" Sirius asks, heart pounding against his chest.

"The most you'll get when involved with someone else," Remus says, turning briefly, a shy grin on his lips. "But if you were single... well, when you're single. We'll talk."

"I'll hold you to that," Sirius promises. Remus' lips didn't even touch his, and it's already felt like everything that's been missing. He's in a slight daze, and doesn't hear James when James calls his name.

When he finally does hear, he turns and James is grinning knowingly at him. "You okay mate?"

"Feel this. Is my heart racing?" he grabs James' hand and puts it to his chest.

"Uh. Maybe?"

"It feels like it. Remus... Remus is... wow. I have no words. Is this what love feels like? Can you fall in love with someone so quickly and so hard?"

The grin slowly widens. "Yes you can. Remus really is amazing. Wanna know more about him?"

"You've kept him a secret," Sirius accuses, though he knows that it's not really the case. James talks about Remus often, but Sirius has let jealousy over that friendship stop him from actually learning that Remus is so amazing. James had realised and talked about Remus less, because James is the best friend ever. But now Sirius feels like an awful friend because James is always adapting for Sirius and Sirius rarely does it in return.

"But also, thank you," he says, before James can start telling him about Remus. "You're an amazing friend and I'm lucky to have you."

James beams, and of course he's already working out why Sirius' mood has changed. 

"And I'm lucky to have you. You give yourself a hard time, but your friendship has changed my life as much as mine has changed yours."

"It... has?"

"I had to push myself to keep up with you in class, Sirius. I fucked about a lot when I was younger and I know you saw that, so you started betting me that you could do better than me - silly bets like over a chocolate bar or something. We both know I'm the most competitive person and I took the challenge and worked hard and then mum and dad were so proud. I only got into this uni because you found a way to get me to work for it. I was convinced I'd get a football scholarship. I thought I was a bit stupid actually, but you helped me so much. I just wasn't the sort to sit down and read from books and you saw that and you helped me find ways around that."

Sirius smiles. He remembers when they were younger and the feeling it gave him when Dorea saw his test results. It wasn't full marks and he was terrified of showing her, of disappointing her. Six questions wrong. His parents... well, he never liked to think of their reaction to such a bad test. But Dorea had cooked a special dinner and made a fuss and was honestly proud of him and it had reduced Sirius to tears because he didn't understand what emotion he should feel.

James had been jealous of the attention, having done worse in the test himself, and Sirius had seen that. James had been a little cold, a little distant, until the tears started and James was the first one to wrap his arms around Sirius and make sure he was okay.

Dorea took over and later that night, Sirius overheard Charlus and James talking - Charlus explaining why they made that fuss over Sirius - because he deserved to have his accomplishments celebrated, but also because he's never been told that he's done well before. That he needed to be shown that even if it's not perfect, it's still an excellent job. They talked a little about James' jealousy over the attention and Sirius had listened raptly. He knew he shouldn't have, but the way they discussed it, rather than being ordered or told. It was a discussion and an explanation and calm and no shouting. He had never had a conversation like that with his own father. But Sirius had many chats with Charlus as he grew up.

And Sirius worked hard so that they could both be celebrated from then on, because he knew about jealousy and didn't want James to be jealous of him ever. The Potters quickly changed strategies and they both celebrated the achievements together.

"You're my family," James adds, after a long pause, and Sirius wonders if they were thinking of the same set of memories. "My brother, and I know that if I ever needed anything, I could trust you and come to you. That extends both ways."

Sirius nods. "I'm always here for you, no matter what."

"And that's why we deserve each other's friendship," James adds softly. "Because it's real." A grin follows. "I could kill someone and you'd be there helping me bury the body. But I'd be there helping you bury someone if it were the other way around."

Sirius laughs. "True, but maybe let's not go out and murder anyone to prove how strong our friendship is."

"An excellent idea," James insists. "So... what to tell you about Remus. Where do I even start?"

* * *

Lily has never seen James angry like that before. Annoyed, yes. Pissed off - of course (not at her, of course), but this James was one she's never seen before. He's never had a reason to be this angry before, and she's torn on whether to stay and witness this (and maybe calm James down) or to follow Sirius.

But James is focused on the man that is hurting his friend. She knows that James is torn too, whether to run after Sirius or say the things that need to be said. So she heads outside, because if she goes, James will trust that Sirius is being looked after.

His voice carries and she hears a loud bang and then pure anger coming from James.

"Listen to me, Ben," James begins. You're going to stop treating my friend like shit. Do you understand me? No more of this 'we're just friends' shit so you can fuck him and fuck _with_ him whilst you get with anyone else that catches your attention without having to make any sort of commitment and so you don't get held accountable if Sirius finds you with someone else. Do you hear me? He's worth more than that - more than what you give him. He deserves a real relationship and real happiness."

Ben stands up from his seat as James snaps. "You don't know anything, James," he replies, his own anger flaring. "You shouldn't get involved in other people's business."

"I know everything," James says, a harsh laugh coming from his lips. "He calls me, he shares it with me. But all I really need to know is that you treat him like crap. I know him better than you ever will. He's looking for more than sex and I can see with my own eyes that you don't make him happy. Sirius is my business."

"He's still with me, isn't he?" Ben points out. "He's a grown man and made that choice."

"The good thing is that we only have to endure you for another couple of weeks," James tells him, ignoring his words completely. "Because once he's living down here, he'll be away from you and your crap and I'll do everything in my power to help him forget about you. I'll introduce him to every single gay man in London if that's what I need to do. I'll spend every night visiting bars with him, helping him set up dating profiles, arranging meet-cutes in coffee-shops. Whatever it takes, he _will_ be happy and fall in love and you'll be just a distant memory. A name he barely remembers as he moves on with his life."

"We've known each other for three years, and been doing this for two. Do you really think he'll forget about me? I'm his first relationship, James. He's not going to let go of me that easily. Do you wanna bet he'll be heading back to Scotland to visit me whoever I ask - or what about if I decide to move back down here too?" There's a smug smile on Ben's face and James just wants to remove that in any way possible.

James starts to move around the table and the others are certain a fight is about to break out. Remus blocks the way as Frank grabs James, and if it wasn't so serious, Remus would almost find it funny that it's James of all people that is being held back.

"I taught him everything he knows," Ben adds with a smug smirk. "And Sirius isn't going to be able to walk away."

James pauses, stills and his gaze goes to Remus. "We'll see," he says. "I have one bloke in mind and he's the only person I would trust with my best friend - the only person good enough for him. I've been meaning to introduce them for a while, but wanted to wait until the timing was right." As Remus' eyes widen in surprise, James looks past him to Ben. "You're going to lose, Ben. Mark my words."

"You're delusional. I've been his rock for three years. He needs me," Ben spits.

"Me? Delusional. That's you, Ben. You've known him for three years, but I've known him since we were kids. I was the one to introduce him to his first girlfriend. The first person he came out to - hell, I was at his side as he questioned why he didn't like kissing girls, and I talked him through everything. I set him up on his first date with a guy. I've gone to clubs with him, I brought him to Pride. I know what his type is, and though I haven't been there in person, I've been on the phone to him at three in the morning because _you_ screwed up and hurt him. My family were the ones to take him in, we're his family. You might be some sort of temporary safety harness up in Scotland for him, but I'm his rock and I will always be the person that he comes to for support." His gaze shifts to Remus. "I know what types of guy he likes, and you, Ben, aren't good enough for him."

The men glare at each other, and Lucas, one of the group - the one who Ben has been talking to and ignoring Sirius moves forward, almost to Ben's side.

"James, you only know what Sirius has told you. I know Ben - are you sure Sirius is telling the truth?" Lucas asks.

"I trust Sirius' words over anyone's," James insists, a little more calmly now. "Seeing it with my own eyes makes me realise that Sirius isn't fully aware of how bad things are, either that or he's downplayed a lot of it. Sirius doesn't like to worry me. Either way, I don't like what I'm seeing."

"If you don't want me with Sirius, good luck convincing him. Peter has been trying to convince him for about two years and Sirius won't hear a bad word against me. What makes you think you're so special that you can change things?"

James takes a step forward. "Because Sirius is my family, and family matters to both of us above all else."

"Just watch. Your friend won't get a single look in, because Sirius' attention is always on me," he says.

"Bring it," James replies, and now he's looking smug as though he's certain that Remus is going to win.

Before they can say another word, the doors open and Lily and Sirius come back in, Lily's arm linked through Sirius' as they do. James beams at the pair of them.

"Me?" Remus asks quietly. "James... are you sure?"

"You're family too," James murmurs back, low so only Remus and Frank can hear. "And I trust you so much. I've thought for a while that you'd be perfect together, but I won't push you to do anything. Just go and chat to him and make him feel welcome and make up your own mind. But if you do feel anything, you have my blessing. Just... just..."

"If you're right about this, you know I wouldn't hurt him," Remus says softly.

* * *

Schedules clash often. With work, lessons, families... well, it's not often everyone can get together. James has been planning this night for ages to make sure people could get the time off work.

Remus is having an amazing time. He doesn't get to relax as often as he likes, or catch up. But he's finished university and that means he has a little more time on his hands. He's glad this is a whole weekend because usually it's a few members of the group meeting for an hour and then lots of trying to arrange another meet-up, or them going out in pairs.

Remus is excited to know that the mysterious Sirius Black is coming. For the three years he's known James Potter, he's never met Sirius. He knows all about him. That he's in Uni in Scotland, whilst James stayed in London. It's also rare for Sirius to travel down, so when he does, they don't see James for the entire time - because James disappears to spend the time with Sirius and James' parents.

A couple of the group know that Sirius moved in with the Potter family as a teen because of violent parents, but they know nothing more about his home-life. But James sees Sirius as his brother, and he's very protective over his brother.

All in all, James seems to be keeping Sirius as a big secret, with none of them getting to meet him though they all feel they know him. Through the stories James tells, because so many involve Sirius. In fact, Sirius seems to be the stem of James' bad behaviour. Fights, jokes, pranks... Sirius seems to be the mastermind behind it all, and the one who manages to talk himself out of trouble. He sounds charming. Completely fascinating, and Remus may have heard him a few times when James has popped the phone on speaker briefly for whatever reason, and his voice sends a jolt of _something_ through Remus every time.

But now they get to meet him. The famous Sirius Black.

When he first walks into the hall, Remus spots him immediately. With the guy that James has been complaining about all day.

Remus stares. He just stares at this gorgeous man and wishes that Sirius was single. Not that it'd make a difference though because Remus is very conscious about the scar on his face and is so used to being overlooked, that the idea of someone like Sirius noticing him is laughable. James had mentioned that the pair of them used to get some attention from women, but he never mentioned that Sirius was probably the most gorgeous guy ever. His boyfriend is good looking too, but there is something about Sirius Black that has Remus captivated from that moment.

But things go downhill quickly. Sirius' boyfriend ignores him and Sirius looks lost for a moment. When he does start to enjoy himself, it takes a few words from his boyfriend to have Sirius' mood drop once more

Remus turns to Alice who says something to him, though he doesn't quite hear, having been distracted. But when he turns back, he meets Sirius' grey eyes and Sirius smiles his way and Remus can't help but smile back.

The smile drops when Ben gets involved, and suddenly Sirius is rushing out, anger and panic warring on his face as he does so. James is ready to kick off, and though Remus moves to follow Sirius to check the other man is okay, Lily is one step ahead, so Remus remains behind.

And it's a good thing he does.

* * *

Remus recalls James and Lily talking about Sirius' relationship with Ben before the pair arrived, and from what he could see, James had every reason to be worried. Each interaction between Sirius and Ben left Sirius looking hurt or upset or sad. Who would purposely cause those emotions in someone they're dating? Remus couldn't understand - a relationship was meant to make you happy and if you were unhappy - if the person was purposely making you unhappy, you'd leave, right?

He knows it's harder than that. Sirius lives further away and doesn't have much in the way of support there. It's why James ups and leaves to travel to Scotland at a moment's notice. It's why he sometimes paces, muttering to himself. It's why Dorea rings, concerned that Sirius hasn't called in a few weeks and she's so worried, so James has to call and check on him. James has always been convinced that Ben has tried to put that divide in between Sirius and James' relationship, so James hasn't let himself get upset when Sirius hasn't called for a couple of weeks, instead he calls Sirius for a catch up. He makes sure that Sirius knows he's not alone. He reminds Sirius that he's loved and has a family here. He requests pictures from the group chat so he can send Sirius some when Sirius is feeling down.

But sometimes Peter calls and James is checking his schedule because he's off to Scotland because Sirius needs him.

But seeing the relationship for himself, he could see how beat down Sirius is. He hears some comments over the noise. When Ben says about having spoken to Sirius about living together, he can hear the lies dripping from Ben's mouth and he can see Sirius trying desperately to remember if the conversation even happened, and that makes him feel ill. For someone to fuck about with someone else like that... and they've known each other for three years, so there's so much damage there.

When Sirius moves down, because Remus is going to somehow help James convince him - because he's invested in James, and therefore Sirius because it's clear to the whole group that James would go to the ends of the Earth for Sirius. He's going to help this guy realise that he matters, because Remus knows a lot about doubt and he's determined not to let anyone else feel like that.

The arguing happens and Remus finds himself in front of James, and as James meets his gaze and basically admits that he wants Remus and Sirius together, Remus feels shocked because there's no way Sirius would ever want to be with him. But... but he trusts James, trust James' judgement and if James thinks that Sirius would be interested. Well...

Even if Sirius isn't, Remus is going to be there to help. Because people deserve to feel loved. People deserve to know that they are cared for, wanted, important. People need to be told that they matter.

* * *

Leather jackets.

Tattoos.

A motorbike.

Even if Sirius never mentioned these things, Remus would still be interested. Sirius is amazing, adorable. Fun to talk to and there's a hint of flirting there too. His voice still has the same affect on Remus as it did over the phone and Remus is barely holding it together.

Remus is captivated by Sirius, and those three things are just an added bonus in his opinion. He's glad that James texted him from across the garden, telling him to go and introduce himself to Sirius. He knows what James is doing, and usually he wouldn't flirt with someone. But with each nice word, he can see Sirius light up little bit by little bit and he can't stop himself from saying nice things, because Sirius looks like he craves kind words, as though he rarely hears them.

And if Ben is _stupid_ enough to act like they're not dating - to not define the relationship, that means Sirius is single and they're not doing anything wrong. He's going to flirt and he's going to talk Sirius into staying in London where he'll have the whole group of them as friends, as a support system. And if Sirius is ready to move on from whatever he has with Ben, Remus will let Sirius know that he's available in case Sirius feels something back.

As he returns to the music afterwards, he watches James grab Sirius and pull him up to dance. Sirius laughs, and Remus can just about hear the sound and it's beautiful. The way Sirius moves captivates him and he can't stop watching. James turns and winks at Remus and Remus mock-glares back. Okay, so maybe a drunken Remus snogged a guy in a leather jacket a few months ago, and when teased by James about it, Remus admitted to having a bit of a _thing_ for the whole leather jacket and motorbike look. James had been so gleeful at the time, and now Remus understands why. Because he basically laid out his type to James, only to find out that it fit James' best friend down to a tee.

James only had a picture of the four of them - James, Sirius and James' parents - when the pair had been thirteen and Remus had paid it little mind. James had never mentioned how beautiful Sirius is, with his dark curls and his high cheekbones. But Remus needs more than looks. Someone can be beautiful but a bad person, as Remus himself found out in his last relationship with Gilderoy Lockhart. But Sirius is clearly smart, funny and kind and from the pranks Remus has hard about, has a playful side. Remus is looking forward to getting to know everything about Sirius.

Maybe Sirius' slightly husky voice was what caught Remus' attention initially, and the stories of course. Sirius' looks have just grabbed his attention today, but Sirius' personality is what has Remus watching him. The way his lips curve and how he looks relaxed. Him joking around with the others, taking to the group so easily. There's just something about him.

He wants more with Sirius, but even a friendship between them would be magical.

* * *

"I want him," Sirius says, as they go to the bar for drinks. "He's single. You didn't introduce us before?"

James shakes his head. "I didn't want to upset you more and wasn't entirely sure that you and Remus would... I mean, I suspected you'd click, but never considered to this scale. Not until the other month when Remus admitted to having a type and everything he said fit you perfectly."

"He did seem impressed by the mention of the leather jacket and bike," Sirius comments.

James laughs softly. "He dated an arsehole recently too. Remus has a support system in the way of this entire group to look out for him. You have me, but the distance I think played a part in you feeling alone, so you got stuck with Ben, whilst we were able to help Remus out. He's looking for something real, Sirius. You are too. Even if you both don't... don't take it any further, he's an amazing friend to have. Everyone here is amazing and supportive and I want you to be a part of this."

Sirius nods. He's felt so accepted and wanted this past hour. Everyone genuinely accepting and he's not used to this.

"I sent him over to talk to you," James adds. "I wanted to do the rounds and catch up with everyone before coming over, but didn't want you to feel alone. I kinda wanted to see if you vibed with each other too. I knew that if you did, you'd have questions."

"We vibed hard," Sirius confirms. "He said stuff. Him and Lily... about Ben. Same things you say. Same things Peter says. I might be an idiot, I never saw until today. He says things about me disappointing you, but then you're so happy to see me so you can't be disappointed in me. There are so many cracks and I'm starting to realise that you're all right. That things are..." he trails off.

James nods slightly, giving him a chance to gather his thoughts and carry on.

"He gets shitty if I'm 'dramatic' over things too. I'm always trying to be careful and I'm exhausted."

"I quite like the drama," James responds. "You express things in your way and if there's a bit of drama and excitement as you do, well - that's who you are and that's who you should always be. You've always made things exciting and it's one of the things that makes you so amazing."

Sirius smiles for a moment.

"I need to end things," he says, decidedly. "I mean... I'm moving back here. I want to show I can do things for myself, but I can do that here, with a support system. Peter has been a good friend up there and I know he's moving somewhere close to home, so maybe he can come and hang out with us when we're both moved back? But when it comes to Ben... it's not good and it's not healthy. I don't love him and I need to stop hoping that he'll throw me an ounce of attention or kindness. I... I deserve better."

His voice cracks on the last words as though he's not sure, and Sirius realises that he isn't quite sure what he deserves, but James nods urgently and there is a sincere look in his eyes.

"You deserve more happiness than anyone," James insists. "And there's only one person I've met that I would consider good enough for you."

They both look over to where Lily is pulling Remus over to dance along to the time-warp which is just starting up. Remus glances over and Sirius can't help but smile.

"I hope I'm good enough—"

"You're good enough for each other," James quickly confirms and Sirius smiles even more.

James never gets mad when Sirius needs validation.

"Have I mentioned I'm lucky to have you as a friend?"

James just beams at him. "Come on, get Remus a hot chocolate and he'll love you forever.

Sirius knows James is joking, but he them one each anyway.

"I'll see if there's a spare room in the morning," Sirius murmurs. "This is the life I want."

"I can see it," James says softly. "Me and Lily living sitting on the porch of our cottage with you and Remus next door. You coming to sit with us as we wait for all our kids to come over for dinner. Grandchildren too."

"All of us sitting on the porch?" Sirius asks, glancing over. He laughs softly. "What are you on about, Potter?"

"I saw it on a tv show. They think about themselves as old people and can they imagine each of them there with their partners in fifty years time?" He glances to Lily. "You're always going to be a part of my life without a doubt, Sirius. I can picture Regulus there even, because you said he reached out a few weeks ago and I know what he means to you... and he's welcome to be a part of this too. Lily is going to be there. I can feel it in here..." he presses his hand against his chest. "I know that she's the one for me, that in fifty years - more even, we'll be sitting on the porch outside our little cottage waiting for our children to visit. You're there too."

Sirius looks at Remus once more, aware that the drinks are being placed onto the counter. The moment he met Remus' gaze earlier that day, he felt something. Talking to Remus just confirmed it.

"I don't want to get my hopes up," he says softly. "But I like the idea of me and Remus together on that porch. I think I can see it, but you'll have to give us time to find our way there."

"You have all the time in the world," James insists. He picks up his and Lily's drinks. "Come on, I know you can't wait to get back over to him. We'll find time just the two of us very soon. I need to be in uni on Monday morning, but after that, I'm free so was thinking I could travel back with you if you're able to wait around for a day. I'll stay there for a couple of weeks and help you get sorted and travel back with you."

Later that evening, Remus plays it a second time because it's Sirius' turn to time-warp. Though he feels a little silly, he still joins the group and forgets about his worries once more as they all have an amazing time.

_That night, Sirius crashes on the little sofa in James' room after yet another argument with Ben. A sleepy Lily finds him a blanket and gives up one of her pillows. "You're always welcome," she insists softly before climbing back into bed where James is snoring loudly._

* * *

Sirius avoids Ben when getting ready. He waits for Ben to leave before getting ready himself and ignores the accusations that he was with another man. The words hurt still, Sirius can't pretend it doesn't hurt, but he's seeing everything in a new light. He's listening to Ben tell him what to wear and to make sure he shaves that bloody stubble. Sirius likes the stubble.

He's ready after everyone else and goes downstairs. There's talking and chatting, and Ben has taken the seat next to Lucas. Sirius looks around for an empty chair. There's one at the end of the table, but as he walks over to it, Remus shifts one seat over, leaving the empty seat now between him and James.

"Sirius, saved you the best seat in the place," James calls, and Remus beams at him.

Of course James made it so Sirius would be sitting between his two favourite people.

He slips into the empty seat, his fingers brushing against Remus' shoulder slightly, unintentionally, as he does so. The group call out greetings to him and he smiles at everyone, avoiding eye-contact with Ben.

"Did you sleep well?" Remus asks, his gaze shifting to James briefly. He mentioned Sirius had come to their room, but had stopped talking when Ben had joined the table.

"I've had better nights," Sirius admits. "But it could have been worse. Did you?"

"Yeah. I—"

"Sirius, you forgot to shave." The comment is clearly there to stop Sirius and Remus from talking.

Sirius reaches up a hand. "Oh." He hesitates, and Remus' hand falls down next to him. He places it on Sirius' knee for a moment to show support.

Sirius' other hand covers his. "I'm not going to shave," he murmurs. It's clear that Ben is doing what he can to make Sirius feel like he can't look after himself, and even a weak reply is still Sirius standing up for himself.

A long pause follows.

"So, let's order." James hands Sirius a menu. "Breakfast here is amazing."

Sirius nods. Remus turns his hand over and squeezes Sirius' hand in comfort before moving his hand up so he can look at his menu, and as they all start to decide, conversation starts up around the table again.

* * *

"Sirius, what the fuck is going on?" Ben asks, catching Sirius alone. "You know I like it when you shave, it feels better when we kiss, and when you -"

"I just chose not to shave," Sirius interrupts, feeling less confident then he did at breakfast.

"You know I hate when your face is scratchy," Ben says. "You should go and shave now and look more presentable." Sirius feels really alone at the look Ben gives him, and his silence seems to give Ben the idea that he's won. Ben walks away, and when Sirius turns, Remus steps out of the stairwell.

He reaches a hand up, pausing in case Sirius pulls away, but Sirius leans into the touch. Yes. He wants this. He just craves someone touching him with such gentleness. No, he craves Remus' touch like nothing he's ever craved before.

Remus' fingers run down his jaw.

"Clean shaven is good, but so is the feel of stubble," he says. "Don't let him change you, Sirius. What do _you_ want?"

"This," Sirius whispers, his hand coming up to cover Remus'. He lets go as quickly as he touches it. 

"Let's return to the group," Remus comments softly. "I think we're both on the same page, but we're hitting a line that it wouldn't be kind to cross when there's still something between you and Ben. You're not like him, and I'll be here waiting for when you're free of him."

"He's made it clear that we're just friends," Sirius points out. But still he nods. "But I should make it clear that me and him are going to do anything together again."

Remus smiles. "It's your choice," he says. "Everything is your choice."

Sirius nods. "I'm ending it with him today," he tells Remus firmly. "I talked to James, and... well, it's a choice I've already made. Even if you hadn't been here, I'd still have realised. I'm not the person I used to be, and I want to be myself again."

"Well, I like this Sirius because it's the Sirius I first met and... well, am falling for..." Remus trails off, blushing. "And I can't wait to meet the other you. I've heard stories."

Sirius beams at him a smile that makes Remus forget what he's about to say next.

"I'm falling for you too. Hard," Sirius admits. He wants to reach out and touch Remus too, but that can wait for now.

Remus looks surprised by the words. "And I promise you, should you ever give me a chance, I'll make sure to always do my best. I've never had a long-term thing myself, but hopefully you have the patience for me."

"All the patience in the world," Sirius assures him.

Side by side, they head back to the others.

* * *

"You look a mess. You tried coming down with your hair loose looking like a bloody woman and then you forget to shave. You tried to wear that ugly piece of leather." Ben lets out a frustrated sound. "I don't know what to do with you." Ben is so angry and Sirius has to remind himself to breathe steadily, though the constricting feel of his chest doesn't want to allow that. His nails are digging into his hand, they're clenched so tightly. He tries to open his hands, but they won't.

"Maybe just give up on me," Sirius mutters. He recalls Remus' words. Lily's words. James' words. "Or maybe I should give up on you." He's quiet but he's feeling an anger towards Ben that he's held back for the longest time. "I will wear what I want, I'll shave when I deem it necessary and I will have my hair as I like. You keep trying to change me into what _you_ want. But you're not what I want. I've been the only person willing to stick around for this shit and I've had enough. This isn't a relationship, it's not even a friendship. It's two people who were once friends who sleep together. One trying to change the other, and the other laying down like a doormat in hopes of a relationship. But you've had two years to offer that and I deserve better than this."

Ben stares at him in shock for even daring to talk back. "What the fuck are you saying? I -"

"I like my hair and my clothes and my personality. If you don't, then maybe you should find someone else because I'm not the person for you. I want to ride my motorbike, I want to get a tattoo. I can't be the person you want me to be, and I shouldn't have to try so hard." He pulls out his cigarettes. He's been smoking more these last couple of years too, usually when stressed. But that's a daily issue these days. "And I'll smoke as much as I like too." 

James watches Sirius leave. He hates that Sirius is hurting so much, but there's a joyful glee that Sirius is standing up for himself and that Sirius and Remus have found each other.

They've known each other less than twenty-four hours and are already looking at each the same way he knows he looks at Lily, and the way Lily looks at him.

He can just picture that porch with the four of them. Sirius is hurting right now, but in a few weeks, life will be perfect. James won't let him ever feel lonely again, and he'll have Remus and all these new friends, and of course Dorea and Charlus who dote on him. There's nothing James can do to take away the hurt at this moment, but he steps forward to follow Sirius. But Remus is one step ahead, and James takes pause, before stepping back towards Lily. He likes this. He knows Remus is the protective sort and the fact that Remus is rushing to look after Sirius makes James feel even more affection towards his friend. Remus is the voice of reason, and the sort that people can just _talk_ to, and hopefully Sirius feels that too.

He's even more sure in his choice and trust. 

When he checks on the pair half an hour later, they're sitting in chairs on the balcony and laughing as Sirius tells one of his stories from school, and James likes how they're looking at each other. He watches for a minute, memorising the scene because this fits perfectly with the plan for the porch in their old age. This moment right here is what he imagines for the pair, but with him and Lily there too.

* * *

Sirius knows so much about Remus. He knows Remus grew up in Wales, before they moved to England because of Remus' father's job. He knows that Remus loves to read, that he'd prefer to sit with a blanket and a book and a hot drink - tea or hot-chocolate, never coffee.

He's heard about Remus' last relationship with someone arsehole called Gilderoy Lockhart from Remus' class who asked him out and had Remus help him a lot with assignments. Someone who would give backhanded compliments which made Remus feel like crap. As Remus delves into a little more detail, Sirius feels angrier and angrier, and then with clarity, realises that this is how James must feel when hearing Ben - because Sirius is living this now.

He assured Remus during that conversation that Remus _matters_ and that Remus is important and amazing, and vows to himself to tell Remus this every day for the rest of their lives.

Remus quietly admits how that relationship ended. The pair finding themselves in bed and Remus thinking he's ready and feeling like _this is it_ , something is going to happen, and the disgust on Gilderoy's face at the sight of the scars on Remus' body. Gilderoy's solution was to suggest turning the lights off. Remus immediately asked him to leave. Sirius is aghast at the story, because he can't understand how anyone could ever treat Remus like that. Remus is beautiful. Every scar on his body, every mark, every blemish. Every inch of him is beautiful and Sirius doesn't need to see Remus' body to know this without a doubt. He can also tell throughout this part of the conversation that Remus is terrified of putting himself out there again.

Also, if he ever meets this Gilderoy bloke, he's going to destroy him.

They talk about upbringings, about uni and courses and plans for the future. Remus wants to be a teacher. Sirius admits that he wants to be a chef or run a bakery. He likes creating things. Something only the Potters, James, Peter and Ben know - since the latter pair know what courses he's taking. But he's nervous about sharing with Remus.

"Maybe one day you can cook for me, or we can bake together? I must admit I'm not very good at that stuff, but my mum says I'm a good assistant."

And Sirius laughs and nods because he can't wait until they live next door to each other and can have cute cooking lessons and have Remus taste the things he makes. Maybe making Remus all the things he likes will convince Remus to stay with him? 

The time passes, James coming out a couple of times with drinks before retreating quietly, and Sirius feels content and happy. This moment won't last forever, but he wants it to. They sit there until the others start discussing what time to meet for dinner, and start going back to their rooms. Remus admits to wanting a nap, and Sirius knows that asking to join him is crossing that line that they've called.

He's almost certain that the invite is on the tip of Remus' tongue, and Remus isn't asking for the exact same reason. They walk close enough that their hands brush, ignoring James and Lily because they're too caught up in each other. Sirius hesitates as they reach his room, but James grabs his arm. "We're watching a film before getting ready. Coming?"

* * *

He hopes Ben isn't in their room when he goes back, but unfortunately Ben is. Part of Sirius assumed Ben would have left, but now he's wondering if Ben will give him up.

In the past, the idea of Ben clinging to him would have been proof to the old Sirius that Ben felt something more, but Sirius can see this for what it is. Three years of knowing each other. Two years of... this. Ben has put too much work in moulding Sirius into what Ben wants him to be. If Ben gives him up, he'll have to do all the work to get someone else like this. All he needs to do is get Sirius to agree to stay in Scotland. Sirius knows he's never going to do that, and he doesn't want Ben to move down to England either - he wants a clean break. He wants this new life.

He wants Remus Lupin, who even the thought of him makes butterflies appear in Sirius' stomach.

He's sitting on the bed, Sirius' iPad on his lap as he scrolls the internet. He looks up as Sirius comes in and Sirius is frozen by the smile. He's surprised, but pulls himself away a moment later and heads over to his suitcase. The leather jacket is near the top and he starts to pull that out.

"I... I ah put out some clothes for you." The tone is soft, something Sirius sometimes hears after sex, but still a rare occurrence. The tone is rare enough to come as a shock right now, because he never hears this. It's enough to make him look towards the bed where he notices some clothes folded. Already he can tell he doesn't like them, yet he still reaches for them, curiosity taking over.

He shakes the material out and sets the clothes out. An orange t-shirt and grey cardigan.

He lifts his head, ready to refuse, but Ben gets up and walks over, his hand slipping around Sirius' waist. "I know things didn't go so well downstairs, but I hate it when we fight," he murmurs gently. "Surely I don't deserve those cruel words, do I?" His lips press against Sirius' jaw and then his neck. "Wanna make it up to me now?" This is the tone and affection that Ben started with when they first started. He remembers it, like a very distant memory, though these words are still being picked to make Sirius feel bad. _'Wanna make it up to me now?'_ is saying that Sirius has something to make up to him.

Sirius steps back. The niceness had thrown him, but this is just another way to control him. Sex has always meant something to him, and he feels nothing. It's like he's out from whatever spell Ben had over him. All he's ever wanted something real. He never had a real family growing up until he met the Potters, and he hates people coming in and out of his life quickly, he hates fleeting things. He wants something to last and last. He wants marriage one day, having kids that grow up alongside James' kids. 

He has Remus. He's going to be with Remus. He can see that future, with Remus at his side. It's a little scary, planning ahead with someone he's known for such a short time, but it feels right. That realisation that he's met the man he believes is his soulmate is that push he needs. Rather than planning this ending, rather than going over the words in his head and trying to gather the courage, he finds that in his realisation. He's not waiting until the end of the night - why wait to be with Remus when this can be finished right now? He gathers courage by the thought of having this happy future.

"Ben, we're over," he says firmly. "That's it. Me and you are done. If you want to head back today without me, go ahead. You're welcome to stay in a different room until tomorrow and I hope this can be over on good terms. But we're not going to be sleeping together anymore, and nothing like that will ever happen again."

His voice shakes as he speaks. 

"I think I'll stay," Ben decides. "We rented this room together and I'm not leaving."

Sirius hesitates before gathering up the clothes he wants to wear. He gets his towel and shower gel and shampoo and, clutching the bundle of stuff, walks back out of the room towards James' room. He did it. He ended things. He just doesn't have it in him to ask Ben to leave the room. But he's single. Properly single. He's free.

He's shaking.

But as he knocks, there's no answer and he stands out in the hall a little lost. He knocks again. And again, and the door next to James' opens and Mary glances out.

"Sirius?" She glances at the things in his arms. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I was hoping to use James' shower," he says. "Just need somewhere to get ready."

She grins. "You can use ours. Five minute wait at the most and it's all yours," she says, looking a little too delighted.

Sirius smiles, relieved. He walks over to Mary's room and drops down on the empty bed and waits. She can tell something is up and presses a bottle of water into his hands. He sips at it as he manages to calm himself.

* * *

"I didn't expect to have you in my bed so quickly." Remus is standing in the bathroom doorway, watching him. "Though I imagined less clothes." Flirty, but still a blush stains his cheeks and Sirius believes that Remus will always blush when flirting. He loves it.

"This is _your_ room?" Sirius asks.

"You didn't know?" 

Sirius shakes his head. "I ended things with Ben. I made it clear that whatever it was we had, it's over. It didn't go well - he said he's staying in the room until tomorrow, so I left. I didn't want him to get into my head more than he has. I thought maybe I'd crash on someone's sofa or something if there's no other rooms available, but was hoping to use the shower."

Remus nods. "Need some help?" he asks, a teasing smile.

"A lot, but we don't have long before dinner," Sirius replies. "And we're going out afterwards, I think James said?"

Remus nods. "You being single changes a lot of things," he murmurs. "Maybe I can get a good-night kiss tonight?"

Mary's eager gaze moves between them for the conversation. Her fingers move quickly over the screen of her phone and Sirius has no doubt that the group will know about this in a matter of minutes.

Remus glances around. "Shame we don't have a sofa," he murmurs softly. "But in a few weeks, we'll be living next door to each other. As much as I want you to stay right where you are, laying across my bed... you might want to make use of the shower because time is getting on. You're welcome to leave your clothes out here and get dressed in the room if you prefer."

"Oh please do," Mary murmurs with a laugh.

Sirius laughs too. "If I do that, I think we'll never make it to dinner," he replies. "But we've got all the time in the world for that." He takes his time getting up, Remus' eyes following him.

Remus nods. "Yeah. We really do."

It's then that Sirius notices old scars on Remus' arms from the car-crash he mentioned earlier. Remus folds his arms to cover them, his gaze darting away. But as Sirius passes him, he leans in to place a kiss to his cheek. "You're so utterly beautiful," he assures Remus. "And I'm going to dedicate all my time to making you realise that."

Remus' cheeks redden, and he looks slightly more relaxed, though he's still trying to hide his arms somewhat. Sirius wants to say more, but he can see Remus wants him to leave the room so Remus can do something to cover them. Remus will feel comfortable enough one day, and Sirius won't push it.

Sirius closes the door behind himself and smiles. He likes how easy it is to flirt with Remus. He feels like there are no heavy expectations, and that he can just be happy and fall in love. Though they're flirting, he's not looking to rush their way into bed. He's be happy with a kiss and a cuddle and just having Remus in his arms. Just feeling Remus' arms around him without feeling he has to do anything to earn that. Remus has made it clear that he just wants Sirius to be himself. That might take a while, but he's taken the first step in that direction by leaving Ben. He knows it'll take time to get his mind back in order and be stronger, but he's got people to help him. He's not alone.

He washes quickly, and decides to leave his hair loose. He doesn't want to force himself to be someone else anymore. He wants to be himself. Remus will see him for who he really is and they'll be married within a year. A solid plan.

He dries his hair with his towel and gets dressed into the most ripped jeans he owns, a tight black t-shirt and leather jacket. He pulls his boots onto his feet and sprays a bit of his favourite aftershave. There's a bit of eyeliner on his eyes too and he looks at himself for a long time.

He hasn't looked like this for so long and it feels like a weight has been lifted off him.

"James is here, and wants to hang out before you leave. So I'm going to go on ahead. See you soon." Sirius smiles as Remus calls through the door.

* * *

Remus looks through his t-shirts, suddenly not happy with the outfit he's picked. Sirius is single. Sirius. Is. Single. Something might happen tonight and this isn't the right t-shirt for that moment.

He tosses stuff aside, searching but his fingers wrap around his favourite dark-grey jumper - his lucky jumper. 

He might not need luck because for some reason that baffles Remus, Sirius is really into him and this sort of thing rarely happens, but he decides on the jumper anyway just in case something tries to go wrong. The lucky jumper will fix that. He also needs it because it'll ease that burst of anxiety he felt when Sirius' eyes first well on his arms. Though Sirius didn't have the slightest bit of disgust in his eyes, and that also helped so much. 

Mary turns her back as Remus pulls off his cardigan and t-shirt and folds them first, before changing into the plain white t-shirt he brought to go with the jumper.

He waits patiently for Sirius, spraying himself with aftershave by the open window, and taking some time to fix his hair in the little mirror on the wall. Satisfied (well, as much as he can be because he can't do anything about the scar), he pulls on his converse, checks that he has his phone and wallet, and drops down onto Mary's bed to watch the film on Netflix that she has up. She laughs throughout everything, murmuring reassurances.

There's a knock on the door and Remus gets up again. James is standing on the other side, very worried. "Sirius isn't in his room and he's not answering his phone," he says. "I get the impression something happened with Ben so..."

"He came here, he's using the shower and getting ready," Remus confirms. "Mary heard him knocking on your room about fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh. Me and Lily were in the shower," James murmurs, his cheeks reddening slightly. "Wait. Don't... I didn't tell you that, okay? She'll kill me. Point being, I didn't hear the door. Is he okay though?"

Remus smiles. "Yes and no."

"That's going to be the answer until he moves down," James says. "And for a while afterwards. He's dealt with it a lot and he'll need..." he sighs. "Two weeks." The last words are murmured to himself.

"You coming in?" Remus starts to step aside, but James shakes his head. "I was just looking for Sirius to tell him the plans for travelling. I better go tell that prat too."

"Do you have to?" Remus asks.

James hesitates. "As much as I'd like to leave him behind, I know he's a friend of Lucas', and if I don't invite Ben, Lucas won't come, and Marlene will be upset, and she'll choose to stay here with her cousin. I don't know if the girls would be up for going without Marlene, and we'd probably end up staying here, having dinner - where Ben would have an invite. I think we're stuck with him for now."

"Sounds like it. But between the two of us, he'll stay away from Sirius."

"Things going well?" James asks, a smile appearing.

"I can't even begin to explain how he makes me feel, and nothing has even happened between us."

James beams at him. "Good answer. Do you want to go on ahead with Mary, Alice and Frank? I'll go with Sirius and Lily, and Marlene can travel with Ben and Lucas."

Remus glances towards the bathroom door.

"I'll wait in here for him," James confirms. "Just leave your key and I'll lock up for you. I want to talk to him about Ben again. See what caused him to storm out. I think I worry too much."

"I think the fact that you worry so much makes Sirius feel cared for," Remus replies. "He needs that."

"He does," James confirms as Remus hands over the key. Remus walks to the bathroom door and knocks, calling out his goodbye to Sirius as he does so, before following Mary from the room. "Mary, can you tell Marlene the plan for the three of them - she can pass it on to Lucas and Ben so I don't have to deal with him again."

"Will do," Mary says, walking up the hallway to Marlene's room.

Remus hesitates for a moment. "He also saw my arms," he admits. "But he was fine with it because... I mean, I can tell Sirius is a good person, but even good people can react badly to things. I was scared that he'd..."

"Sirius understands what it means to have scars," James says quietly. "He will never look at them with disgust, but he's not the sort to push you to show them. Do that at your own pace."

* * *

"Ben was more miserable than usual, and you're using Remus' shower," James says.

"Ben tried a new tactic of being nice and trying to get me to make things up to him in bed," Sirius replied. "Sex matters, James. I've only ever slept with Ben - you know that - but that's because he mattered so much. But now he doesn't matter to me. I mean, he still gets inside of my head... but I ended things. I told him that it's all going to stop. He wasn't happy so I grabbed my clothes and stuff and walked out. I'm not sure if he'll just give up on me easily though because he's spent three years learning how my mind works and pushing me to be what he wants me to be. Two years of sleeping together. If he gives me up, he'll have to start all over with someone else." Sirius sighs. "I ended things and I needed to get out of there. I might need your sofa again if that's okay? I'd rent a new room but I think if Ben finds out what room..."

James nods. "You don't want to be alone. I think Marlene has a double bed. If we do some shifting around, there will be a bed for you, okay? Maybe Mary will be cool with sharing with her or something?"

Sirius smiles, relieved.

"And you're single now, and Remus is single. Be good to each other, Sirius. You're both the best people I know and I know you can both be happy." He glances Sirius over. "You look good. You look like you."

"I feel good," Sirius says. "It takes a change of clothes. Does that make me shallow?"

James shakes his head. "Clothes are a part of your identity," he assures Sirius. "You're not shallow at all."

"This why you sent the others on ahead?"

"I had to make sure you're okay," James insisted. "Come on, let's go downstairs for a cigarette whilst we wait for Lily, then we'll call a cab."

* * *

They arrive thirty minutes later and James is quick to lead the way through the place to the table right in the middle of everything. Sirius assumes they've been there before.

"Where's Remus?" James asks, noticing Sirius looking around.

Ben smirks. "Off dancing with some bloke," he says. "Wanna rethink our conversation, Sirius?"

Sirius shakes his head, but he turns around, his eyes scouring the dance-floor. He notices Remus who is up dancing with Marlene and two guys, but there's distance between him and his dance partner and Sirius is relieved. Well, relieved and a little jealous. But still, he watches.

"We should order soon," Lily says after everyone is settled. "Get some food before this place fills up more."

"Good idea. Can someone go get those two from the dance floor?" Mary says.

Sirius nods and walks over. He catches Marlene's eye first, nodding towards the table. She says something to the guy and heads over, and Sirius turns his attention to Remus.

He comes up behind Remus and wraps his arms around him. Remus stills, before starting to pull away, but as he twists around, he meets Sirius' gaze and moves back into his embrace, so that they're face to face.

"Sorry Mark, my date is here," he says, over his shoulder. "I'll see you for coffee before you head off home though?"

"Yeah cool, you're right, he's gorgeous."

Remus grins at Sirius. "Look at you being all possessive. Would it help to know that though I went on two dates with him about two years ago, we didn't click at all and decided to be friends? That we have a mutual-disinterest in each other that way?"

"That does help. Sorry." Sirius feels embarrassed now. "I'm not good with... when I think I have to share, I know you're not like that... I just... I'm sorry."

Remus smiles, leaning in so his lips brush against Sirius' ear. "I know what you went through and I understand that you need time to learn to trust. It's all fine, okay? If you randomly came up and hit Mark out of jealousy, it'd be a different story. But wrapping your arms around me is always welcome."

"I'd only hit him if he was making you uncomfortable," Sirius points out. "Protect my soon-to-be... I mean, whatever you want to call it."

"I like having words to define my relationships," Remus assures him softly. "You pick a word and we'll see how it fits. What do you feel comfortable with?"

"Boyfriend?"

"Fits perfectly," Remus says without hesitation.

"Well, let's sit and have dinner because I really wanna get to dance with... with my boyfriend afterwards." Sirius is clearly delighted at getting to use the term.

"I don't know. Going over there means you'll have to let go of me. I don't really want my _boyfriend_ to let go."

"Not completely. I fully intend to hold your hand."

Remus grins. "You're adorable. I really really like you."

"Good," Sirius murmurs. "I really really like you too."

"And I really really want to eat," James says, having approached without either of them even noticing. "As much as I'm loving this vibe here, we're all waiting on the both of you." Though he's trying to sound impatient, Sirius and Remus can both tell he's delighted. So they part and they walk over to the table, hand linked.

* * *

Remus is having an amazing night. He was stunned when Sirius walked over and wraps his arms around him. It was like looking at a different person. Dark curls falling around his shoulders, the leather jacket and the boots and tight clothes and the confidence. This is the real Sirius he's looking at, and Sirius has eyes following him, but he's only got eyes for Remus.

Though there's still so much uncertainty there, but Remus will help with that. Three years of someone messing with your head, that's not going to go away quickly. But relationships take work, they both have their own insecurities and will help each other through.

So they eat and dance and have a few drinks and it's completely perfect, but eventually Remus has to excuse himself from Sirius' intoxicating gaze to go to the loo.

He is in the men's room alone when Ben comes in. Remus doesn't like confrontation, so washes his hands and ignores the other man, and moves to leave. But the door is blocked.

"Excuse me," Remus says politely. He wants to get away from Ben and he wants to get back to Sirius. So far, with the crowd of them, they've managed to keep Ben and Sirius apart mostly, but Remus suspects that if he's gone too long, Sirius will come looking for him. He doesn't want Ben to be in here, ready to cause Sirius more upset.

"I don't know what you've heard, or what impression everyone has given you, but me and Sirius are a thing and you are coming between us."

"I'm sorry, what?" Remus isn't sure if he's misheard something because he knows that none of this is true.

"You seem like a decent guy - not the sort to break up a couple."

"Let me stop you there," Remus says. "What I've heard is how you've treated Sirius right in front of all of us. What impression I have is what I've seen with my own eyes. You didn't commit to Sirius because of whatever games you've been playing trying to make him some docile... whatever it is you're trying, and I'm not coming between you - because there is nothing to come between. I'm merely showing Sirius that there are people out there that would worship him because that's what he deserves."

"What he deserves?" Ben laughs. "Someone better than you, that's for sure." There's a laugh as Ben's eyes move over the scar on Remus' face and once more Remus feels self-conscious. A single laugh and his insecurities rush back. It reminds him of his relationship with Gilderoy. It must show on his face, because Ben's smile widens as though he's realised he's found where to hit Remus. "Sirius has _me_ , Remus. Me. If you find him in your bed... well, that's him settling - but trust my words, he'll rush back to me because I'm the first relationship he's ever had. If not me, he'll find someone better. Imagine someone like him at the side of someone like you."

Remus takes a deep breath and then another. He focuses on the way Sirius looks at him. He focuses on his feelings for Sirius. He reminds himself that even a friendship with Sirius will be amazing.

"If we last or not, at least he'll be free from you," Remus says. "No one here is on your side, Ben. Everyone here is ready to stand between the pair of you to stop you getting near Sirius."

"I got invited to dinner. You all could have left me behind. I'm sure if Sirius meant that much to you, you wouldn't have invited me."

"You're friends with Lucas, who is Marlene's cousin. If we didn't invite you, Lucas would have stayed back at the hotel. If he stayed, Marlene would stay and then the girls would stay and so on. This weekend was about our last hang-out as a group before people go home for the holidays or in Marlene's case, move back to Birmingham. There was no way to avoid having you around for dinner and we didn't want you to spoil our plans."

Ben just smiles. "Wait and see, Remus, you won't hold onto him for long. I mean, look at me, and look at you." He glances at the mirror, and Remus can't help but look too, his eyes falling on the scar.

"Like I said before, even if me and Sirius don't last, at least he'll be free from you," Remus replies, though his voice betrays him. He means those words more than anything - because getting Sirius away from Ben is the priority. But what if Ben is right and Remus just isn't good enough?

The door opens and Lucas walks in, looking between them curiously. Remus takes the distraction as an opportunity to slip out of the place. Sirius' welcoming smile as he sits back at the table helps a little, but he's still feeling unworthy. He keeps his head turned slightly, not wanting Sirius to look at him and at the scar he's ashamed of.

* * *

It's better when they're dancing. The lights are down and Remus feels less exposed. Sirius' hands are around him as they dance, though there's still a distance between their bodies.

Sirius barely looks away, and Remus knows that Sirius has noticed a difference in him since he returned from the toilets after dinner. Ben and Lucas didn't return for a little while after and Remus wonders what lies Ben is telling Lucas.

"I'm happy," Sirius murmurs softly. "But you're not. Have I done... no, is there anything I can do to make you happy?"

There's a hint of desperation there and Remus considers the start of that sentence. Sirius' first thought is that he's done something wrong. Remus doesn't ever want Sirius to worry.

"I'm feeling a little self-conscious," Remus admits, reaching up to touch his own face.

"Oh. I find everything about you so beautiful," Sirius admits, leaning in to murmur the words in his ear. "But I'd be more than happy to go back to the hotel. I mean... not like that. Unless you want... Uh... I'd much like to stop at costa, get some hot chocolates and cakes and go watch a movie on someone's laptop and just sit with you and get to be near you."

Remus' hands come up to the front of Sirius' leather jacket and he holds Sirius there, just breathing in the aftershave and taking a much needed moment. "Thank you," he murmurs back. "That sounds like a plan. But only if you're ready to leave. I can stay longer if you want."

"Everyone will be fine," Sirius assures him. "Let me go tell James we're heading back and I'll see if anyone else is going back - we can share a cab. James also said that people will shuffle rooms around so I'm not... you know."

Remus smiles, and they head back to the table.

* * *

"Remus went to the toilets earlier and Ben followed," Sirius murmurs as they head outside. "He's been a bit upset since. I think Ben said something probably. We're going to walk to Costa for hot chocolates, grab some snacks and go back to watch a film. Just letting you know."

James nods. "I know the others are starting to feel tired. I'll see if anyone else wants to head off. Lily is feeling a bit knackered. She's had a lot of late nights studying and I think her body is rebelling and demanding more sensible bedtimes."

Sirius smiles. "Wanna meet back at the hotel?"

"There's a costa a two minute walk from it. Me and Lily will come with you both and the rest can go back and sort out the rooms so you have somewhere to sleep tonight."

"Cool." Sirius glances at the door. "I know what Ben is like, and... well, Remus dated some arsehole who kinda acted that way. I think whatever Ben said got to him. He mentioned being insecure about that scar."

"Yeah that's... Remus is used to getting overlooked by guys. He's more confident around you than I've ever seen him around anyone, and I think it's because you've already been obvious about your attraction. But the scar... he was in an accident—"

"He told me," Sirius confirms. "Well, he mentioned it in passing. He mentioned Gilderoy's reaction to his scars too, and I'm going to hurt that guy if I ever meet him. I'm mad about him - he's beautiful, inside and out. I just want to make him feel happy about himself like he's been making me feel."

James smiles. "Let's go inside and see who is ready to leave. I haven't seen Ben for a while and Lucas went out to get some cigarettes a bit ago and hasn't returned yet. I'll get Marlene to text Lucas to let him know we're heading back so he can make his own way."

* * *

"I'll pack my suitcase up quickly and see what room to put my stuff in, and then I'll come by yours," Sirius murmurs.

"I'll help, if you want," Remus offers.

Sirius nods his head. He takes his key and places it quietly in the door. "Ben might be asleep, so we should be quick and quiet." As he pushes the door open, they hear the noises and Remus quickly realises Ben isn't asleep at all.

He reaches to pull Sirius back, but Sirius steps forward quicker than Remus expects. He walks into the room, his gaze falling on the two men in the bed.

"I guess that telling me you want me and sleeping with another man in the same day really defines the not-relationship we had," Sirius says loudly, his voice void of any emotion. "But it's probably quite natural for you. I expect it was a regular thing." The two figures sit up at his words and Remus glares between Lucas and Ben as they cover themselves with the bedsheets.

"Get out," Lucas snaps.

"I'm getting my stuff," Sirius says. "I paid for this room and my things are in here. You'll just have to wait." Remus can see Sirius is shaking and he sees why. This is just another way to cause distress. He's certain Ben planned this, especially since Ben is staying silent instead of saying anything in defence of the situation.

"James, come here," Remus orders. James is in the process of unlocking his own door further up the hall whilst Lily holds the bag with the snacks and the tray with the four drinks on. "James. I don't know what to do - just..."

James opens the door and holds it so Lily can go into their room before coming over. He steps in, his eyes falling on the bed and suddenly angry James is back.

"Sirius, go wait in my room," he orders, looking at Sirius who is clutching some of his clothes. "Now. Remus, watch to make sure he goes in there, then come and help me."

Sirius stumbles past, looking completely lost. Remus wants to go with him and comfort him, but they'll get Sirius' stuff quickly first. "Sirius, you paid for the room right?"

"Yeah," Sirius murmurs. "What should I..." he looks at the clothes in his arms.

Remus reaches out for the cardigan that Sirius wore the day before and takes it from Sirius' hands. "These aren't yours," he says. "Take the things that make you _you_."

Sirius glances down. He takes one t-shirt from the pile, drops the rest and kicks it angrily towards the room.

"He's trying to hurt you again," Remus says softly. "Just one more way to hurt you. We'll get your stuff for you, we'll have a word with Ben and then we'll join you in James' room, okay?"

"Yeah," Sirius murmurs. "Thank you."

Remus smiles reassuringly, and nods to Lily who is hovering in the doorway now, wondering what is happening. She disappears inside with Sirius and Remus turns to where James is pulling things out of Sirius' case and tossing them at the bed.

"Sirius would never wear this shit," James snaps, as Remus closes the door as he comes in the room. "Half this stuff is wrong. He's not going to need it anymore." With Sirius out of the room, Ben's not looking smug anymore. He's probably scared of being there with James, Remus assumes.

Remus looks where Ben is trying to get some bottoms on whilst remaining underneath the covers. He spots the wallet on the floor next to the bed and picks it up.

"How much was the room?" Remus asks James.

"Rooms for the weekend were about a hundred," James says. "We had a group rate."

Remus pulls out the notes. "Sixty," he counts. "Not the full amount, but it'll have to do." He drops the wallet.

"What are you doing? That's my money!"

"Well, you shared the room so that'd be fifty. But since you've prevented Sirius from sleeping here tonight, you should be paying the most," Remus points out. "I'd take more if I could." He glances around. "Does Sirius have a laptop?"

"The ipad and charger are his," James says, pausing briefly. He looks around the room and starts to pick up other little bits. "Bathroom. Anything colourful or any shampoo that smells like... uh..."

"He left toiletries in mine. I think a toothbrush is all he'd need."

"Red," James says. "He always takes the red one from the packet."

Finally they get all his stuff, and Ben follows them from the room, leaning against the doorframe.

"He'll be back," Ben says. "Did you see how he reacted? Just like I knew he would." That smirk again and Remus stops and turns. Lucas looks distraught at the words and strides off up the hall, a door slamming shut a moment later. Sirius glances out of the room at the sound, looking towards where Remus is.

"Did you do this on purpose?" Remus asks. "To show Sirius what he's missing, or to show him that others want you?" Though Lucas wasn't a part of their group - Marlene was and brought him that night - he was still Marlene's family and they didn't want him to get hurt either. Remus knows Marlene had a word with her cousin about him, and Remus is not sure what to do about telling her. He's aware other doors are opening and their friends are all in the hallway, watching the scene.

The smile widens and Remus, for the first time in a long time, sees red. He's never felt so angry before, never felt so protective over someone. He's never wanted to hit anyone before.

Ben doesn't see it coming.

* * *

Sirius rests his head on Remus' shoulder, face buried into the back of it and arms around Remus' waist as Remus washes the blood from his knuckles. His hand hurts so much, and he's a little ashamed that he let someone push him to that point. 

"I'm sorry," Remus says, as he water stings his skin. "I've never hit someone before."

"I'm sorry you were put in that position. it's my fault."

Remus turns off the tap and Sirius has the towel ready. He carefully dabs his hand before turning back. His sleeves, rolled to the elbow, are quickly fixed back in place.

"It's not your fault. Ben is not a good person, and... and I chose to hit him based on his own actions and words. You didn't cause anything."

Sirius takes a deep breath. "He's good at getting into people's heads. He said something to you earlier, didn't he?"

Remus hesitates before nodding. The truth is always the best in these situations. Sirius knowing that Ben can mess with someone else's mind with such ease may make him feel like he's not as weak as he thinks he is. "He's very perceptive," Remus murmurs. "I think he can work out everyone's insecurities so well and his manipulative mind helps him find the words and the ways to twist them. It worked on me a little bit, but I have an amazing support system. It worked on you because you were almost alone in Scotland, vulnerable and he honed in on that. But you're not alone anymore and he's not going to come near you again."

"How did I find someone as perfect as you?"

Remus grins. "James," he replies. "James gets all the luck and somehow its rubbed off onto us."

Sirius laughs. "We'll have to thank him in our wedding toast," he says in a teasing tone.

"We'll flip a coin to see who gets to have him as their best man." Remus takes Sirius' hand in his good one. "Drinks are lukewarm, but I think we should go ahead with the plan - cuddle up and watch a film. Let's see what the girls have worked out in terms of sleeping arrangements."

* * *

James looks at the pyjamas. "No."

"Look, they're mad on each other. If they sleep in their pants, they'll..."

"No," James repeats firmly. "They're crazy about each other and they've admitted their feelings already. We don't need to give them any sort of push at this point. They'll reach that point when they do." He takes Remus' pyjamas. "You know how Remus feels about his scars so I think we shouldn't push this. I thought Mary would go and share with Marlene, but you had to go and give them the double bed, didn't you?"

They all look at him innocently, even Lily who James now realises is in on the plot.

He sighs. "I have every faith that they're going to find their way - that they're going to last. You've all seen how they've been looking at each other. Plus, have any of you ever imagined that our Remus would ever hit anyone?"

Everyone shakes their heads, still in shock over the incident. 

"The plan from the start was only to give them a nudge towards each other, but they didn't even need that. We be their support system, but we don't need to rush this."

"You're right," Marlene says with a sigh. "Let me know if you want us to switch rooms."

James takes the pyjamas and heads across the hall, knocking on the door.

Sirius answers in his boxers and Remus is quickly at his side, wearing one of Sirius' t-shirts and Sirius' pyjama bottoms. He looks ready to fight someone again, but relaxes upon the sight of James.

"Yeah?" Sirius asks, with a smile.

"The girls planned this," James said, handing over the pyjamas. "But you have a choice. This bed, or go back to Remus' previous room and the girls will take this one. They seem to think you still need a push, but I told them that you've already found each other. We didn't need to plot or plan for anything."

Remus takes the pyjamas and hesitates, looking at the pyjama top with the long sleeves, before looking down at the t-shirt he's currently wearing as though he's silently debating with himself. Finally he shakes his head. "I think the ones I have are more comfortable," he admits, sneaking a glance at Sirius.

"And I prefer to sleep like this," Sirius replies. "We'll stay in here. We're going to cuddle up and watch a rom-com and talk some more. I don't want to speak for Remus, but this is good."

"I think cuddling up together is something we both really need and want," Remus adds.

"If... if anything happens..." James hesitates. "I mean, just in case... should I..."

"I have some in my suitcase, but I don't think we're going to rush on that front," Sirius insists. "We've got all the time in the world. We're good James, for once, you don't have to worry about either of us."

"What will I do with all the time that frees up?" James jokes. "You know where I am if there's any problems. If Ben even knocks on the door..."

"He won't," Remus says fiercely. "I won't let him anywhere near Sirius. But for your piece of mind, we will let you know."

James nods. "Goodnight guys."

"Goodnight."

James walks away from the closed door. Remus is wearing Sirius' pyjamas. Sirius may not have the same amount of scars as Remus, but he has some. He's not only given his own nightwear to Remus to make him feel comfortable, but has also put his own scars on display for the other man.

* * *

The night is spent cuddled up with a film on. They don't have their first kiss until the next morning. A sleepy moment where they wake up in each other's arms. Remus' shaggy hair is falling into his eyes, and Sirius only means to push the hair from his eyes. But the pairs eyes meet and the moment is just right. A new day, a new relationship, and their lips meet both nervously and eagerly as their bodies shift closer together and fingers find already-tangled hair.

As much as Sirius wants to just _touch_ and _explore_ , he reminds himself that there is no rush. There is nothing to prove. Sex is going to be an expression of what they mean to each other, their desire for each other, their feelings. It's not an action to take to _prove_ or _apologise_. It's something that'll happen when they're both ready to take this further. He knows it'll be a while because Remus is scared. He's nervous to let anyone see his body, but Sirius is happy to wait.

"Best night sleep I've ever had," Remus says, as the lazy kisses finally stop. He looks dazed. "Do we have to leave here?"

Sirius grins. "James did offer to go back to Scotland with me if I waited till tomorrow," he points out. "So, I have to find somewhere to stay tonight."

Remus smiles softly. "Stay in our room at the uni. James won't mind. We can all hang out, it'll be great. We can wake up together again."

"I get a feeling that one of our beds won't ever get used when we move to our flats. I can't imagine ever waking up alone again. I want this. Like this every morning."

"I want that too. I'm scared of moving too fast - of rushing you, but... I want that."

* * *

_James heads back to his dorm straight away instead of going out with a couple of the guys from class. He has a new dormmate arriving after so many incidents with his current one. Of all people in the university, he was roomed with Severus Snape, a cruel person from high-school who caused a lot of problems - of course he tried to give as good as he got._

_Instead of asking for a room exchange, James decided to drive Severus from the room, and it took two weeks before Severus gave up, and now he's going to have to wait for the next person._

_It doesn't take long. Forty-five minutes later, there's a knock at the door and James moves over to open it. There's a man around James' own age. He's wearing a grey jumper and clutching a laptop to his chest._

_"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin, are you James Potter? I was told to come here - are you expecting a new roommate?"_

_James nods. "Yeah. Do you have stuff?"_

_Remus glances behind him. "Yeah. I mean, not up here with me. I left it outside my old room whilst I made sure I'm coming to the right place. My friends are guarding it right now." He bites his lip. "I had a bad situation with my previous room-mate."_

_"Yeah me too," James says, chuckling slightly. "As long as you aren't loud late at night and not a slob, we'll be good."_

_"I've got earlies on a Tuesday," Remus says._

_"Same. Well, Thursdays, so I like to turn in a little early on a Wednesday." James runs a hand through his hair. "You know, it might actually work out. I'm not big on parties and stuff and won't have groups of people over all the time, and you don't seem the sort either."_

_"Yeah, I'm not," Remus insists. He allows James to take the laptop and shakes the offered hand._

_"Now, let's go and get your stuff," James says, watching Remus. He prides himself on his judge of character and Remus seems really nice. "You don't mind the left side of the room?"_

_Remus smiles. "I'm not petty enough to demand you move beds," he says. "I'm just two floors down - same building. This room change couldn't have come at a better time."_

_"You're telling me," James laughs. He likes Remus. Good vibes from this guy and he realises the rest of the year is going to go much better than these two weeks._

_They head downstairs. Sitting on the floor next to Remus belongings are two women and James' eyes widen as he takes in the beautiful redhead. "Mate, I'm hoping you say no, but are you dating her... or hoping to?"_

_Remus laughs softly. "I'm gay," he says. "That's my friend, Lily - and her roommate, Alice. I've been pretty much living in their room for the last four days whilst they tried to find me a new room."_

_"That bad? What happened?" James asks. He grins at the women before grabbing a box._

_"I... well, I accidently... did stuff with my roommate," Remus mutters._

_"How do you accidently do stuff?" James asks, confused._

_"He claimed he was straight. I believed him till a few nights back when he decided he wanted to snog me and give me a blow job. He was an arsehole afterwards with all these homophobic slurs. Texting me threats if I tell anyone that he did that willingly, or mention it to anyone at all. So... yeah."_

_"What a dick," James comments._

_"No, it was rather unimpressive," Remus jokes, causing James to laugh. "Are you okay with that though? Having a gay roommate? Best for us to discuss this before I move all my stuff."_

_"As long as I don't find you standing over me when I'm sleeping, I think we're all good," James says. "My best mate is gay. I've caught him standing over me a few times."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yup. It's usually followed with him tipping a bucket of water over me or shaving my eyebrows. Please don't pour water on me or shave my eyebrows."_

_"If it helps- though you're good looking, I'm not attracted to you and I have no intention of ever being awake early enough to torment you, it'd be nice to have a friend though."_

_"As much fun as listening to you both talk about things that could wait until later, we should really get your stuff upstairs," Alice says, getting up from the floor._

_"Ladies," he murmurs, winking at Lily._

_"So... James, was it?" Lily asks. "Why did you need a new roommate? What did you do to drive yours away?"_

_"I tormented him as much I could to break him," James replies simply. Three sets of eyes bore in to him. "Wait, let me explain."_

_"Go ahead," Lily says._

_"So I went to school with the guy, and me and my friend Sirius... we were all dicks to each other - to him and his mates, I mean. We all gave as good as we got. But there are lines you don't cross, and he found out Sirius was gay - something that was a very guarded secret at the time - and told Sirius' family. Sirius' extremely homophobic and abusive family. Sirius ended up in hospital. He was... too scared to go home so my parents fought for guardianship for him. I'll never forgive him for what happened to Sirius."_

_"I think we're going to get along well," Remus comments. "Friends have to look out for each other."_

_James nods. "I get along well with people in general. Just this one guy... he did it purely out of spite. He was delighted to find out Sirius' secret just so he could cause that hurt. I'd go to any length to protect those I care about."_

* * *

Changing his train ticket meant that he is able to see Dorea and Charlus for dinner on Sunday. They spend a couple of hours with their parents, talking about the flat and arranging Sirius' moving down, before they head back to the dorms. Lily and Remus have already eaten, but snacks are laid out for the four of them. James makes some calls whilst the three set up a film.

"I'm all set to come with you," James says. "I have to come back on Thursday for something on Friday, but then I'll get another train."

"You don't have to," Sirius starts to insists. "Why don't you just come up after that instead of tomorrow?"

James grins. "Because I said I would. Because you'd do the same for me, and because you've got to show me around the place before you officially move back, we never get a proper chance to. Just you, me and Peter."

Sirius nods his head. He knows when it's pointless to argue with James, and now is one of those moments. 

Lily sleeps over too, cuddled into James, and Sirius stays awake for ages, laying against Remus' chest as Remus' fingers move gently over his back until they're both too tired to keep their eyes open any longer. They don't want to fall asleep because tomorrow will come so much sooner and they'll have to part for a few weeks.

Remus comes to the train station, seeing Sirius off on the platform and Sirius hates it. He doesn't want to leave, because he's been so happy around Remus. He had his family dinner and got to hang out with James and things felt so normal. They sit by a window closest to the platform so they can see Remus and Lily. They stand and chat at the door until the whistle blows, before reluctantly retreating.

The train begins to move and he waves at Remus until Remus is out of sight, before settling back down next to James, who is unpacking the bag of food they bought from the bakers.

"I think I'm in love," Sirius sighs, reaching for his sandwich. As he unwraps it, his phone beeps and he sets the food down.

_'I can't tell you how much I regret not getting on that train with you both. Hope these couple of weeks go quickly so I can see you again.'_

Sirius smiles.

 _'I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep properly again until I'm back in your arms!'_ He sends the message then quickly switches to camera and takes a photo of himself looking sad, giving his best puppy-dog eyes.

He sends it to Remus as James continues to set the food out on the table.

"Isn't he bloody gorgeous," he says a moment later at the picture he gets back of a blushing Remus making a little heart with his hands that Lily clearly took. "James, here - take a picture of me." He hands his phone over, but James types a message.

"I told Remus that you love the picture but I'm taking the phone off you for a bit," James says, smiling. "Let's catch up, now it's just the two of us for a few hours. I've got you all to myself." He leaves the phone in the middle of the table, in case Sirius wants it back still.

And Sirius beams at him. "Hours. So... moving in with your girl?"

James' turn to grin. "Yeah. Yeah, I can't even put into words how much I love her. I need help picking her a ring though. Once we're moved in properly, you'll have to come with me."

* * *

"Ben came by a few times," Peter says, as Sirius opens his case and begins to sort things out. "I didn't let him in. He was pissed though. What happened?"

Sirius glances at a t-shirt that he somehow missed before, pulling it out and tossing it to James who bins it. 

"I finally saw sense," he says. "Ended things. Started dating Remus—"

"Whoa," Peter says, concerned. "Who is Remus?"

"Remus is good for him," James quickens to say. "You're moving to London too, right? Well, we'll all hang out next weekend or something."

Peter looks wary, but nods. "As long as you're sure," he says, looking between the pair. James smiles slightly. He's had a lot of chats with Peter on the phone and they've hung out a bit when James has visited and James likes Peter. He imagines Sirius' life would have been much worse here if Peter hadn't been around to watch his back and call James when Sirius was at his worst. He also appreciates Peter's wariness over Sirius getting involved with someone else.

"He's my room-mate," James adds. "I've known him three years and there's no-one I'd trust as much with Sirius as I trust him."

Sirius pulls out his phone and pulls up the picture of Remus. "He's beautiful. Look." The phone is shoved in Peter's face.

Peter smiles at him. "You look different," he comments. "Like you did when you first came here. So are we saying goodbye to those stupid clothes that Ben got you? Should I help you set them on fire? Wanna fill me in on what happened?"

"He was being his usual self, but... I think a little worse, or maybe I was more perceptive. I ended things, it all kicked off..." Sirius sighs. "I don't really want to think about... I'd rather not recount it. Maybe James can fill you in properly later?"

James nods. "Of course I will," he assures Sirius.

"I won't let him in here," Peter says. "But you look happier than you have in a while, Sirius."

Sirius pushes his suitcase aside and flops onto the bed, James taking a seat on the end. "So, you're still moving in with your parents?" he checks.

Peter nods. "Yeah. I don't want to rush to get myself a place. I thought if I moved back, I could save for a bit first. But I'll be only a couple of stops on the train away, so we can all hang out. I think I have a thing happening the weekend after I get home - a family barbeque, but the weekend after, I'm free."

"Let's do that then. James has the new addresses, I'll be living next to Remus - we'll get a takeaway and you can sleep on the sofa."

* * *

"There's been a problem," Lily says, as she opens the door to Sirius' flat. Remus is pacing, hands twisting together and Sirius lugs his cases in, looking around at the boxes of flat packed furniture.

"I haven't ordered any yet though," Sirius comments, running a hand through his hair. "Did Mum order stuff?"

Lily shakes her head. "I just needed somewhere to put it for the time being. I was going to get you guys to help me move it today."

"What happened?" James asked, moving forward to kiss Lily.

Sirius' gaze moves from the boxes and falls on Remus. "I almost forgot how beautiful you are," he says, striding over and wrapping his arms around Remus. "Missed you." Their lips meet and for a moment, they forget everything around them. He pays no attention to James and Lily talking in the background because he's with Remus, so everything is good.

"Guys, you have time for that later," Lily says, causing them to break apart.

"Hi," Remus says softly. "I missed you too."

"The flat that was supposed to be ready for us... well, the ceiling fell in. So I got our stuff delivered here temporarily and changed the delivery date of the sofa... twice. I thought it'd all be sorted by today, but the woman called an hour ago. There are other issues in the flat and she's thinking it could take a month, maybe two... and I wasn't sure what to do."

Remus sighs. "I told you what we need to do," he says, glancing at Lily. "These flats were supposed to be for Sirius and James. So I'll let you take my flat and I'll go home until I find my own. It makes sense."

"But that's not fair to you," Lily says. She looks back at James. "I've tried to find somewhere else, but..." she sighs.

James frowns. "Right. Let's just get Sirius' stuff out of the car so no-one tries break into the car, once we get it up, we'll order a subway and start thinking about options."

"I could go stay with Mum and Dad," Sirius offers. He really wants to live next door to Remus. But this place isn't far from James' parents house and that means Remus still lives close. If Remus moves to his parents, he might live further away - and Sirius can't ask James and Lily to both go elsewhere.

"Food first," James insists firmly. "I think better when I'm not hungry."

So they order. The sit on the floor and eat and finally they put the wrappers back in the bags.

"Mum knows the people who own the building, right?" Sirius checks.

James nods his head. "What are you thinking?" he asks.

"Well, the flats aren't going to be full forever," Sirius replies. "You guys take this flat, I can stay on the sofa and look for somewhere."

"Or... or maybe..." Remus bites his lip. "Never mind."

"What?" Lily asks.

"I mean... I don't want Sirius to feel rushed. But I was going to suggest... maybe Sirius can stay in the other flat with me - it's only fair because technically it is his flat, and we keep an eye out for something else popping up nearby, or even in this building."

"You don't think that's too soon?" James checks.

"It's quite fast, but this relationship has been just that," Remus replies softly. "It might not work. But it buys us some time which is really what we're looking for. We have a sofa if one of us needs space or time to ourselves. You guys are next door, in case of any issues. I'm not saying it's the best plan, only that... I mean, to be honest, I half-expected that we'd spend most nights together based on the content of the texts we've sent each other. We can just try it for now - and if it feels like it's too much, I go back to my parents house for the time being."

Sirius nods. "Or I go back to Mum and Dad," he adds. "I don't see a downside."

"You're both adults, so I'm not going to stop you. I just want to make sure that you're certain you're ready for this," James pushes.

"We can do it until another place becomes available," Sirius insists. "Yeah. I'm... I'm in." He turns to Remus. "So... what furniture do we need for our place?"

Remus smiles and James looks at Lily a little helplessly, but Lily shrugs. "Temporary," James mutters, but they don't listen as they begin to talk.

Finally James sighs. "Well, I suppose we should start building these ikea bits."

"Oh. And let's go to Ikea later," Sirius suggests. "Do we have a bed yet, love?"

"Not yet. I mean, I have an air-bed until I get a proper one," Remus says. "It's a big one so we could both squeeze onto it. Not ideal, but..."

"But I get to cuddle you all night, so it's perfect."

"Right. Let's go back to Ikea now so Sirius and Remus can get some bits. Then we'll come back here and start putting furniture together," James says. He pulls out his phone. "I'll text Frank - he's got a brother with a van. Just in case we need to lug lots of stuff back."

"And invite mum, she loves to come to Ikea with me," Sirius insists. "And I can't wait for her to meet my boyfriend."

"She's met Remus a lot of times," James laughs. "She won't be able to today, but we can bring her another time. I'm sure we'll end up going back."

* * *

Remus hasn't turned a page in about half an hour. Sirius is doing press-ups in the living room and Remus can't see words, he can only focus on his boyfriend.

He knows how this is going to go. Sirius will keep going until Remus has lost his mind. Then he'll start stripping as he walks to the bathroom, though Remus is getting used to having a boyfriend who walks around in just low-hanging pyjama bottoms. He'll sing loudly in the shower, then once done, he'll fix pull Remus over to the sofa and kiss him until Remus can't think straight anymore. Though his hands sometimes wander under Remus' t-shirt or pyjama top, Sirius doesn't move much further than that and Remus knows Sirius is waiting for the go-ahead. Remus himself is just trying to gain the confidence to let Sirius see him topless because the scars... he's comfortable with the short sleeves, but they're slowly getting there. He knows Sirius has felt them under his fingers, and he's getting used to that touch.

Sirius does as predicted, winking at Remus as he strips off his t-shirt. He walks from the room and Remus can see him going up the hall, throwing his sweaty pyjama top into the wash as he does so.

Remus can't work out how Sirius does this. He goes for a jog every morning after waking, before showering and going to work. On weekends, he jogs, comes back and exercises more.

Remus has considered joining him on the jogs, but he's worried about not giving Sirius much space. They live together and spend all this time together, and he doesn't want to intrude on Sirius' running time. He sometimes turns down an offer to go next door, just so Sirius can spend time with James away from him, but sometimes heads over there when Sirius is busy. They're still trying to work this out, but what they are doing is working so well so far.

The shower is still running when there's a knock at the door. Remus stands and walks over to it. As he does, the shower stops and the singing stops.

"Mum? Dad?" Remus says, looking at the pair at the door. He automatically steps aside. "What are you both doing here?"

"We caught a train to see your Aunt Linda and thought we'd surprise you," Hope says, hugging Remus before coming inside. "You always pop over to see us, we thought it a good time to see your place - and not just on video call."

Remus nods, but starts to panic. Sirius is here. Sirius. Sirius doesn't know. He doesn't know what to do. He hears a door close and thinks its the bedroom door.

"You have someone over?" Hope asks, glancing towards the hallway. 

Remus nods his head. "Yeah."

"Oh. Is this the girlfriend you've been keeping from us?" Hope asks. Remus goes to shake his head, but she laughs softly. "Sweetheart, you can't fool us. You're so happy, you smile every time your phone buzzes. You look like someone in love."

"Hope," Lyall says, a hint of a warning tone. "Remember..." he doesn't elaborate, and Hope seems to pay no mind to her husband.

Remus doesn't want to deny this, but he's internally panicking. Silence. He'll just stay quiet.

"I'll go and pop the kettle on, shall I?" Hope starts towards the door, realising that Remus isn't going to say anything. She's about to leave the room, when Sirius comes in, almost walking into her.

"Oh." She glances Sirius over. "Sweetheart, you should have just said it was one of your friends," she says, turning back. "I'm sorry. I thought we were about to meet Remus' girlfriend. He's been so secretive about this relationship. I'm Hope, Remus' mother. I don't think we've met before."

"Oh. Sirius. Sirius Black," Sirius says. He holds his hand out. "Nice to meet you. I'm just crashing here for a bit. On the sofa."

"Sirius..." Lyall frowns slightly. "You mentioned Sirius. James' friend?"

Remus nods, lost. He doesn't know what to say.

"Yeah, there was an issue with the flats," Sirius goes on to say. "I was supposed to have the one next door, but James and Lily had a problem with the one they were supposed to move into, so I said they should have that one. I stayed on their sofa for a bit and then Remus offered his. One of the flats in this building is supposed to be emptying next month, so... it's good of Remus to let me stay. He's a great... uh, friend."

And that's when Remus hears it. Though the smile is warm, welcoming, there's something a little lost in Sirius' expression too. He's reminded of the Sirius who smiled when they first met - when he wanted to look like he was fine. Maybe it wasn't _that_ smile, but it had a hint of it.

On top of that, he could hear the way Sirius said the word _friend_ like it hurt him to use it, and it hits him with too much clarity. Sirius is once again in a relationship where he's having to define it to someone as a friendship and that's hurting Sirius and he deserves better.

This could be the first crack in the relationship, and Remus doesn't want cracks to appear over things like this. Of course they're bound to argue and have their problems, but he never wants Sirius to refer to himself as Remus' friend. He said that they'd use the word _boyfriend_ to define their relationship, and by expecting Sirius to lie, he's taking that definition away.

He loves Sirius and he isn't going to hide this. The truth will come out one day, and Remus can't think of a better moment because he can come out and introduce his parents to the man he's sure he's going to spend his life with.

"Actually," Remus says. He's shaking a little. "Mum, Dad... There's something I should tell you both. Something I should have told you years ago, but... I never could. Not until now. You were right Mum, I am seeing someone."

Sirius' eyes move to Remus and there's hope there, but also a questioning look as though Sirius is silently asking if Remus is sure about this.

"This is my boyfriend, Sirius. We're... we're together and really happy with each other and I just don't want to hide someone so important to me from you guys any longer."

Sirius moves closer to Remus and Remus smiles at him, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

"Why?" Sirius murmurs, though he looks stunned and delighted.

"Because how we define each other matters too much to me," Remus insists. "Yes, we're friends. But we're also so much more and I don't want you to feel like..." he trails off, but they both know what he means. They smile at each other, before turning to Hope and Lyall who are watching them.

"Well, Lyall, you were right after all," Hope says, her lips curving up into a smile. "Maybe we should reschedule with Linda and the four of us can go for lunch instead?" she suggests. "I'd like to get to know the man who makes me son light up like this."

Lyall walks over and holds his hand out. "Lyall Lupin. Call me Lyall. Now, we'll have a quick chat in the other room about appropriate ways to treat my son, okay?"

Remus sighs. "Dad."

But Sirius laughs. "I'm sure you'll find that I've been very appropriate," he insists. "I treat him as he deserves, I promise you that. But I'm happy to come and make a cup of tea with you before lunch and have a chat."

Lyall nods his head. 

"Please don't scare him off," Remus says, as the pair start towards the kitchen. He looks worriedly between them.

"Love, as though anything could scare me away from you," Sirius insists. "Trust me, you're worth it. You're kinda stuck with me forever."

"And you can tell me how you both met," Hope says, taking a seat. 

* * *

They're walking around all of the major shops as James looks for the perfect ring for Lily. Sirius glances around, doing his best to help but all the rings blend into each other and look the same. He's certainly not thinking about whether men wear engagement rings. 

But James is unhappy with them and they end up at an antique jewellery shop that Dorea pointed them towards, and Sirius points out to James that mum really does know best, because these rings are beautiful - they have character.

They spend an hour looking at the jewellery, examining almost every ring in there, and though James doesn't find a ring that fits Lily enough, he's now on the right path.

But Sirius comes across a silver metal band with amber twisted into it and he just knows that he's found the ring for Remus. 

It's been four months, but Sirius knows that he's going to spend his life with Remus. He has no doubts as he hands the ring back to the old man behind the counter and starts to hand over his bank-card, with James rushing forward as he sees this to try and haggle the price down first.

"So, who do you think will propose first?" Sirius asks, the ring box pressing against his side, on the inside pocket of his jacket. 

"I think I'd propose first, but you'd probably get married first," James says after some consideration. "But who knows."

"Hah, says you. I was going to propose tonight," Sirius laughs. "No, just kidding. I have to think of the perfect way to propose to Remus to make sure he says yes."

"Sirius, there's not a single chance he'll ever say no," James assures him.

* * *

"Remus Lupin is that you? It's been so long?" Sirius has a bit of a better hold on his jealousy as his boyfriend of six months is hugged by a stranger. He takes a deep breath and thinks about Remus cuddling him in the night. Remus loves him, this man isn't a threat. Okay. Maybe he's a little jealous, but he hides it well.

"Oh. Hi." Remus looks less than happy to see the guy. "I'm sorry, but we're in a bit of a rush."

The man shakes his head. "Always in a rush," he says, laughing. "I haven't heard from you in so long. Maybe we can get together sometime?"

Now there's no mistaking _that_. Sirius smiles coldly. "Sirius Black. I'm Remus' boyfriend. We really need to be going."

"Oh." The man looks disappointed, though his gaze moves up and down Sirius and Sirius' smile fades. "Gilderoy Lockhart." He smiles a charming smile.

Sirius' smile reappears, and he looks this man over. He's been waiting for this moment, the name etched into his mind. This is the man that hurt Remus so much and treated him so badly. "Oh, so _you're_ Gilderoy?"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> **  
> **[So… this is my tumblr... I also have a little Wolfstar Discord if anyone is interested.](https://neondomino.tumblr.com)  
>   
> 


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